So this is it. My final exam. I have about four ideas for how to do this. I could do all four, but the post would be very long, and it's going to be long however I go about it. Maybe i'll just keep going and see where it takes me.
I'd like to explain why I think it's fine to stop doing this. There's nothing noble about it. I am stopping simply because it's not achieving what it originally set out to achieve. It got me blogging more, which was a definite goal, but as far as accountability being the main driver went.. well, it didn't go anywhere.
I would find myself writing about my overindulgence, or lack of exercise on countless occasions. It really didn't make me force myself to behave better. It created the shame, but not enough to drive change, hence it just made me feel slightly less good. Does this mean that sweet denial is better? Of course not. My motivation and procrastination problems are clear and have been since school. Back then only fear drove me to succeed. Nothing ever really replaced that.
I once wrote software. Not huge projects, but bigger than anything i've written outside work in the last ten years. This was a passion thing. Passion things seem to get muted by the inevitable realisation of the small fish-ed-ness that I and most others go though. Back when I coded some absolutely fantastic doors and even a doorkit for RemoteAccess BBS's, I was still a small fish, but the pond was smaller. That was one hell of a niche. My interests now aren't niche, and consequently doing anything impressive is much harder. Why is the song I vowed to finish mixing to perfection in late 2007 still remaining as non-final in late 2008? Because I want it to be impressive. I want it to sound like a polished piece of music that I can play in ten more years and rather than lament the quality, appreciate it having stood the test of time. When I go back and look at my BBS work, it does look impressive. Clearly I put a lot more time and effort into that than I put into my projects now.
Reading the first "2008" post is a good jumping off point. What was the idea behind this, and will I lose anything now that i'm stopping?
Side note - I have written probably 20 of these on my laptop keyboard. I made the stupid mistake of removing the ? key some time ago and unlike another key that once jumped off, i've never managed to reattach it properly. It is very annoying. Unless you absolutely have to, never remove keys from your laptop. There is absolutely a right way to remove and fix these keys, but it's not easy, and the pieces do break!
So, part one said "how do I track progress if I don't record goals"? This was wide of the mark and actually made no sense. I'm not recording the goals, i'm recording what I do in and around trying to meet the goals.
The original list was blurted bullets.. How I drank too much coffee in 2007 and how I'd limit myself... Cutting out the vending machine... Eating loads of fruit... Tuna lunch with alternative pasta... One game of fake poker on a weekday... Watch two films a week, reconsider Blockbuster subscription... Take camera everywhere, don't let a week pass without taking photos... Buy two new work shirts... Review the list every week.... Write a new song every month... Meet existing work goals to reach next grade... Talk to people in positions at work i'd like to be in... Make final decision on whether to pursue management... Commit to three times a week exercise schedule... Research whether I could get similar jobs to mine in other companies... See if there's work I would enjoy away from a computer screen....Decide where to live, make the move... Don't let a week go by without contacting a friend....
One thing I like in reviewing this original list is that nothing surprised me. There's nothing in there that I forgot all about. It all had good reasoning, and a lot of it got done or improved. Some of it improved then fell away.
About a month on from that I shortened, numbered and categorised the goals into easy and challenging. I can't believe I watched Event Horizon in February. That's the first "wow this year flew by" moment I've had this year. Largely, this year felt like a year. In those early days the really difficult goal was writing a monthly song, which was later revised. My grand total of songs created this year is around four, but I love them all. Much rather that than produce another eight that were churned out to fill a quota.
After a weak start on exercising I really got into it for a while. In May I rewrote the goals to include reasoning.. A reminder of why I should care whether I met them or not. That was during the period of eight goals, categories now being gone. Things moved along quite nicely. The summer hit and I took a few short breaks, things started to go downhill.
By September I was admitting the lacking in the reviews in the posts themselves. In early October I vowed to reconnect with the goals and spent three days constructing a thorough review, culminating in a shrink down to six goals that I felt needed the most focus, rewriting (or watering down) those that remained arguably to avoid needlessly denying myself flexibility.
In November I found myself talking of my all year low motivation. Clearly the retooling hadn't changed much. Much like my cycles theory (my favorite post of the year, not a "2008" post) one or two neglected goals were dragging down my opinion on all the goals. Many of them continued to do just fine. This was around the time my commute shrank and life improved. Work was going well, etc etc. Really only the lack of exercise was getting me down. This is pretty much how things have concluded in December.
Let's look at the goals, first those that made it to the end:
1. I will eat in moderation at all routine meals. The majority of my meals will be essentially healthy. When I snack or overindulge, I will specifically redress the balance later. I will also drink caffeine based drinks in moderation. At the end of a week, if I feel my intake has been too high, the goal has not been met, and I will state this.
The majority of meals I eat at home are what I consider healthy, but I could do more. My tendency to cook the same meal over and over again, not just now week after week or month after month, but year after year, is an interesting one. I do like it, but it's not amazingly healthy. Nothing that tastes that good can be that good, nutritionally. I still have the desire to cook more than I do. So much is easy that I don't do. So much that is very easy of course, I do do (hmm). Takeaway happens too often. It's probably fair to say that every takeaway is an overindulgence. I'd like to perhaps get back to a position in which takeaway is a treat rather than a regularity. The only part of this that i'm not worried about is caffeine intake. I do drink coffee at work, and tea at home. They're fuel, and I drink them in moderation. I've tried cutting back to nothing, and I think i'm better off with them in my life. Moderation is key.
2. I will not spent extended periods of time focussed on one form of entertainment. If one form of entertainment has consumed an evening or weekend then I have failed. I will vary it, and ensure that I don't neglect the mind expanding.
This is a very recently updated goal, but it tends to stand for something and sticking to it has largely kept me happier. I have had the last week off work. In that time I have made sure that no two days are entirely similar, even though i've been away from work. It's made it last and it's made it interesting. I'll continue to keep this in mind certainly.
3. I will talk to people. People I know will not feel I am ignoring them. People I don't know will not forever be people I don't know. If they do, or they are, I have failed. Why all this? Because spending any extended period of time alone is a terrible idea, and the more you initiate, the less likely that is to happen.
I remain determined to continue with this. I've been a little better lately but I still need to become more comfortable, as I was a few years ago.
4. I will apply myself to my work. Why? Because all career uncertainty aside, if I'm doing something, I must be doing it well, plus it's the only way I will continue to advance in my current career.
5. I will continue to rethink my career inside and outside my current role weekly. Why? Because I don't want to find myself realising I am on a career treadmill and nothing more. I must ensure what I do is meaningful to me, and ideally others. This doesn't inherently necessitate change, just frequent consideration.
I've never mashed these two together in the past, but they clearly do relate so summarising them together makes sense. My recent enjoyment of my work has made option five less relevant, but the nagging thought that it shouldn't have been so career-centric stays with me. "I will continue to rethink the direction of my life" wasn't specific enough, but it might have got me to think a bit more about making some changes. There are options available to me - sabbaticals and the like, if I want to travel. Now is a bad time, and i'm happy to wait a bit longer, but the risk is I wait forever. I'm gradually filling my home with "stuff". It's mostly not crap. Laptop, TV and guitar are my biggest buys. Each one links into a passion of mine. A piano is, once again, potentially next on my list, and that would be similar. Other items are an amp and speakers, again, with a good founding. Not just stuff for the sake of stuff. Right now I can afford most of what I want, so I buy it. Eventually i'll have everything I want, and then i'll really need to figure out what to do next. The meaning of life isn't earning money to buy stuff. Buying stuff is getting harder also. How does that tie into this goal? Hard to be entirely clear, but the point I suppose is that I could get by earning a lot less money than I do now. I wouldn't be able to buy everything I wanted, but I might be happier doing something else. I still don't know if I've considered this enough, and so I won't stop considering it.
6. I will find the time to manage a 3 times a week exercise schedule. Why? Much like the eating, it's about long term health gains and short term physical gain. Lose a little weight. Tone up a bit.
I've failed on this one, no question. It's probably been my most active year since i've lived alone, but compared to any other year before these last few probably not so. My friend has recently started biking to work about 6 miles away. I used to bike to school 3 miles away. This I did in the bleak of winter. Three days ago I went for a ride with my in ears in my ears and my ears hurt so much from the cold I simply had to remove them. Now even cycling is less paletable, because having the on board entertainment was a huge part of the fun. My weight bench continues to lie dormant in my kitchen. I've been talking of it as if building up to using it for months now. Using it is certainly a good idea. I don't want to rule that out. Long term I need to exercise. Looking at my grandmother, harsh as it is to say it, I don't want to live past 90, but at the same time, I wouldn't mind hitting 70. Kicking the bucket at the optimal moment is a fraught topic which at 28 i'm too young to be thinking too hard about. I suppose the point is, if exercise will get me to 70 but not too far beyond, it's worth doing. If doing what I do now gets me there anyway, which honestly it could, it's still worth it. I do remember being thinner and more toned, and there is associated self esteem. I could do with it.
So, done the basics, done the final goals. How to conclude? We've already talked about the relative success or failure of this project. That's the wrong focus - this is about me, not the method.
It's a year later. Has it been a good year? It's been the most eye opening time of my life, no question. The things that I had accepted would start to change as others around me moved on with their lives cemented themselves this year, though much of that kicked off in 2007. I am now essentially the last hanger on in the old town. I have a small disparate group of local friends, all but one of whom I only see occasionally, and a similar sized group of other friends dotted anywhere between 40 miles away and 2000 miles away. Faced with the realisation that I really don't need to be in Leicester anymore, I now realise that it's the most sensible place to be for work. That was the big event of 2008 for me - Clawing a bit of my life back from commuting. The only way I could shorten the commute now would be to move closer to Hinckley. As you move below the ten mile band, the time gained becomes less significant. It took me almost as long to get across Leicester to work back in 2002 as it does to do the stretch between Leicester and Hinckley now. By no accident, I am ideally poised. I have come to dislike my immediate locality and i'm still thinking of moving, but I doubt i'd move far. I can see a less central location in the future, but not yet. A friend moved to Anstey a while back and whilst his reasoning was very solid, I don't think he finds the living there part as enjoyable as he found the living here.
How about my perpetual singularity? I haven't mentioned that much because it's not something I like to consider too much. Some take big issue with this, very concerned that people need to be paired off. I can't say I disagree with them, but being alone isn't bad for me. Not getting into adult relationships probably is. So much of the relationship dynamic bothers me, but I do crave the intimacy. I'm less convinced now that i've been in the presence of the "perfect woman for me", but i'm quite convinced i've been around any number of strong possibilities. It wouldn't kill me to try a little harder to get them to stick around.
That's the end. That's the longest series of anything i've ever written. Can't say it's a hugely proud feeling, but it's something! Interesting bunch of titles too, all but the first few:
2008 #52 - End of An Accountability Era
2008 #50 - Giraffes
2008 #49 - Still in a Room Without a View
2008 #48 Later With...
2008 #47 - Late, Great.. i already said 2008
2008 #46 - 28
2008 #45 - Doing Stuff I Like
2008 #44 - Saw V
2008 #43 - Inclusion, Diversity, Equality
2008 #42 - My living room is too small...
2008 #41 - Reconnecting Day 3 - Post Now Final
2008 #40 - No
2008 #39 - Quickie
2008 #38 - Weight Lifting
2008 #37 - Mind Racer
2008 #36 - 23 miles around
2008 #35 - Bank holiday comes six times a year
2008 #34 - Late!
2008 #33 - Strange Low
2008 #32 - Who Poisoned Me?
2008 #31 - Back on Track?
2008 #30 - Three Zero.
2008 #29 - What Happened to eBay? Come to think of...
2008 #28 - The Week that Wasn't
2008 #27 -- Ireland
2008 #26 - On Mass
2008 #25 - Quiet One
2008 #24 - Shitstorm
2008 #23 - Short and not so Sweet
2008 #22 - The Barrier to Doing
2008 #21 - Concentration
2008 #20 - Cycling, Unnatural Law and Goals
2008 #19 - Transformation at Home and Work
2008 #18 - More Bullets
2008 #17 - Grounding/Constants
2008 #16 - Bullets
2008 #15 - Resonation: A type of vibration.
2008 #14 - Theorising
2008 #13 - Easter
2008 #12 - Music Spurred by Peer Pressure
2008 #11 - Off the Wagon
2008 #10 - Confused Flat Hunting
2008 #9 - Event Horizon
2008 #8 - tablet talk
2008 #7 - Random Notes of a Cautious Clicker
2008 #6 - Life Nomadic
2008 #5 - It's Just That Simple
2004 #4
2008 #3
2008 #2
2008
I will probably post something tomorrow, but it won't be anything that requires me to commit to writing a weekly post about myself. That's done as of the end of this paragraph. This blog is my random blog again from then on. The 2008 project has been sometimes fun, sometimes a burden, somewhat useful, often useless, motivating, but not enough, and if not life changing, at least helping me keep an eye on myself. To anybody that actually read some or all of this, though it wasn't the point, I thank you, and I hope the fact that I didn't change 100% isn't too dispiriting. That was never going to happen. I like myself too much!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
2008 #51 - More Drafts
Welcome to a very late instalment. Due to the preparations for Christmas I neglected to write my weekly post earlier this week. Today being Saturday this is by far the latest I've ever been, but i'm damned if I'm going to fuck this up so close to the end, so all 52 will be published!
Continuing my 16/12 theme:
In the end it pretty much went more like 3. I think I can get a free G1 with a contract here in the UK but everyone in the world seems to hate the battery life and that's a pet peeve. I still find it interesting that tech pundits quite unanimously think that Android is going to be a big hit. I hope it is, but it's hard to see why right now. Just because half the world is using Symbian and not realising how bad it is doesn't mean they care. I'm not a phone guy anyway. Not my topic, which is why this got held back.
I feel sure I ended up posting this, maybe with a slight variation. Still somewhat true I feel.
That's all the draft material I wish to share. There's two others that aren't really for public consumption. Maybe one day.
WHOA. Freaky occurence. You'll recall several paragraphs back I quoted a draft that said "There Was a Time". As I write this I sit listening to Chinese Democracy for the first time, and what just flicked up in the corner of my screen but the song title "There Was A Time", track six. I wouldn't say it particularly alters my crotchety old man viewpoint though. That's pretty much what Mr Rose is now.
Now, on to six points covering as well as possible everything up to around Christmas Eve. Honestly, i'll be blurring the line a bit. Some of this will be anything up to yesterday.
1. In the run up to Christmas, once that tin of Quality Street was gone, I ate a little better, much like I normally do in fact. I finally boiled some more Borlotti beans also which is a good lunch supplement, though I definitely prefer the Garbanzo beans/Chickpeas so next time I'll buy those again. The Borlottis aren't well known, and It's clear why. They essentially discharge goo which is the exact colour of mould when you cook them. It looks disgusting, but they taste fine. As the end of the year approaches I definitely have stuff to say on the eating well topic. It seems that in a year that i've paid it the most attention I've faired the worst. More in the finale.
2. No real change prior to Christmas so i'll address the last few days early here. Christmas entertainment. UK TV has been about as bad as usual. I've outgrown it. In about 15-20 years I'll grow into it again if my parents are anything to go by. US TV seems non-existent over the past few days. I'd have expected Christmas episodes of Family Guy, American Dad, The Office, but none of them have obliged. Over the past two days looking at Mininova's TV section, there's more UK shows than US shows. Nonetheless, it's been easy to remain entertained. My two favorite Podcasts (current KATG and NLO) both put out three shows during the week. I always prepare myself too much entertainment to take to my parents house over Christmas. I did not have time to touch practically anything else beyond the podcasts. I did play scrabble. That's a different form of entertainment. I have five days before I go back to work, so the coming days will be the real test as to whether I can keep myself busy and not just waste time.
3. Had a rather unexpected Sunday night out with those illusive friends I live near to but rarely see any more. Good time. A nice way to round off the social calendar, although hopefully I'll be out a few more times before the end of the year. Most of the coupley types are largely unavailable now, and certainly won't be available on the 31st.
4. I gave my work goals a thought, but didn't get any time to look at them. Work is all in all going very well at the moment though. Unless there's some way I can get promoted without having to commit to additional hours at work, this is actually about as good as things can be. That, of course, will eventually be a problem, but for now it's good.
5. I said Christmas would give me some thinking time. I've mostly thought about whether I should try to buy a house over the next year. Because I somewhat believe in total economic collapse being on the cards, it's hard to think too seriously about it. If that does happen, it won't be the newly mortgaged homeowners given a pass, that's for damn sure. Holding pattern. Suicide by tiny increments. Status Quo. Ahhhhh.
6. In the week before Chistmas I did plenty of walking. At home for Christmas I helped chop and carry wood for what can't have even been an hour, and found myself wishing I had something like that in the city to allow me to get some exercise. There'a very little I can do for incidental exercise around here.
One more to go. Number 52 will be a reflective piece. Maybe i'll drag back all of the old goals. Who knows. I'll do that before the start of 2009, but then that's it. Stop looking at my hair!
Continuing my 16/12 theme:
I can see it now. Google types sitting around discussing the market price of the first Android phone. Three schools of thought.
1. Undercut the iPhone - Pro: People like cheap alternatives, traction can be gained. Con: Makes it look like a cheap alternative.
2. Price it higher than the iPhone - Pro: Might suck in some rich folk, Con: People will just buy an iPhone.
3. Charge the same as the iPhone - Pro: None, Con: People will just buy an iPhone.
It looks like 2 is the way it's going. Personally i'd have gone with option 1.
In the end it pretty much went more like 3. I think I can get a free G1 with a contract here in the UK but everyone in the world seems to hate the battery life and that's a pet peeve. I still find it interesting that tech pundits quite unanimously think that Android is going to be a big hit. I hope it is, but it's hard to see why right now. Just because half the world is using Symbian and not realising how bad it is doesn't mean they care. I'm not a phone guy anyway. Not my topic, which is why this got held back.
2008 #30 - I've done 30 of these?!?Insightful!
I can't get into it.
I'm trying, but I can't seem to force myself to do.. well.. anything.
Starting to think what I hoped was just a rumour my mind ignores.
I'm lazy.
Fuck.
I feel sure I ended up posting this, maybe with a slight variation. Still somewhat true I feel.
When did things change?Ever had one of those moments where you realise you're fulfilling a stereotype? I recall stopping writing here, because it was clearly going to be a crotchety old man post. I'm just too young to be doing that.
There was a time
LCD TV - Panasonic TX-37LDZ80 Initial ReactionThis isn't the full saved draft but the rest is pointlessly obsolete at this point. I never got around to writing a full review of this TV. There seems to be a generally good vibe on the network about this TV, and about it's "800" replacement. All I need to say is that I'm completely happy with it. I'd change the interface in the firmware perhaps. Give me a slightly easier way of switching between AV1 and HDMI1, which is really all I ever need, but as I more recently discovered if you ask the set to default to AV instead of analogue, it will also allow the defaulted AV1 to be overridden by HDMI1, so you can in effect use the cable itself as a way to switch between the two. That said, my first HDMI cable is getting very ragged around the laptop end. These ports really need to be on the back of laptops, not the side.
That's all the draft material I wish to share. There's two others that aren't really for public consumption. Maybe one day.
WHOA. Freaky occurence. You'll recall several paragraphs back I quoted a draft that said "There Was a Time". As I write this I sit listening to Chinese Democracy for the first time, and what just flicked up in the corner of my screen but the song title "There Was A Time", track six. I wouldn't say it particularly alters my crotchety old man viewpoint though. That's pretty much what Mr Rose is now.
Now, on to six points covering as well as possible everything up to around Christmas Eve. Honestly, i'll be blurring the line a bit. Some of this will be anything up to yesterday.
1. In the run up to Christmas, once that tin of Quality Street was gone, I ate a little better, much like I normally do in fact. I finally boiled some more Borlotti beans also which is a good lunch supplement, though I definitely prefer the Garbanzo beans/Chickpeas so next time I'll buy those again. The Borlottis aren't well known, and It's clear why. They essentially discharge goo which is the exact colour of mould when you cook them. It looks disgusting, but they taste fine. As the end of the year approaches I definitely have stuff to say on the eating well topic. It seems that in a year that i've paid it the most attention I've faired the worst. More in the finale.
2. No real change prior to Christmas so i'll address the last few days early here. Christmas entertainment. UK TV has been about as bad as usual. I've outgrown it. In about 15-20 years I'll grow into it again if my parents are anything to go by. US TV seems non-existent over the past few days. I'd have expected Christmas episodes of Family Guy, American Dad, The Office, but none of them have obliged. Over the past two days looking at Mininova's TV section, there's more UK shows than US shows. Nonetheless, it's been easy to remain entertained. My two favorite Podcasts (current KATG and NLO) both put out three shows during the week. I always prepare myself too much entertainment to take to my parents house over Christmas. I did not have time to touch practically anything else beyond the podcasts. I did play scrabble. That's a different form of entertainment. I have five days before I go back to work, so the coming days will be the real test as to whether I can keep myself busy and not just waste time.
3. Had a rather unexpected Sunday night out with those illusive friends I live near to but rarely see any more. Good time. A nice way to round off the social calendar, although hopefully I'll be out a few more times before the end of the year. Most of the coupley types are largely unavailable now, and certainly won't be available on the 31st.
4. I gave my work goals a thought, but didn't get any time to look at them. Work is all in all going very well at the moment though. Unless there's some way I can get promoted without having to commit to additional hours at work, this is actually about as good as things can be. That, of course, will eventually be a problem, but for now it's good.
5. I said Christmas would give me some thinking time. I've mostly thought about whether I should try to buy a house over the next year. Because I somewhat believe in total economic collapse being on the cards, it's hard to think too seriously about it. If that does happen, it won't be the newly mortgaged homeowners given a pass, that's for damn sure. Holding pattern. Suicide by tiny increments. Status Quo. Ahhhhh.
6. In the week before Chistmas I did plenty of walking. At home for Christmas I helped chop and carry wood for what can't have even been an hour, and found myself wishing I had something like that in the city to allow me to get some exercise. There'a very little I can do for incidental exercise around here.
One more to go. Number 52 will be a reflective piece. Maybe i'll drag back all of the old goals. Who knows. I'll do that before the start of 2009, but then that's it. Stop looking at my hair!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
2008 #50 - Giraffes
Or Drafts, really. Drafts seemed too dull a title.
Over the last almost year there have been several occasions on which I almost wrote a post, then decided I was too busy doing something else, that I wasn't informed enough on the topic, or just couldn't really be bothered. I'd like to revist them and try to turn them into something.
And I still do. What I never got around to here was to explain how the hell the title related to the post. I felt that a the time that It's probably a little unfair to bitch about having to pay for something that you previously got for free for some time. The issue I had was that the producer created a subscription service to cover his entire network, and every other show on that network aligns in no way to my interests. The fee is too high for me to justify spending to obtain the individual show. Every second episode was to be for subscribers only. Right now I'm unsure whether this is still the case as the feed has been quiet for a few weeks, so this could be out of date, but probably isn't.
I have the same issue with the BBC. We don't live in a world where everything needs to be bundled. Technology exists to sell people exactly the content they want. The BBC licence fee continues to exist because to countless people like me, a large proportion of what they produce is of no interest, however the money from those that are interested in particular content might not cover costs to produce such things. The BBC seems to have no confidence that it can sell it's content on an individual basis. Ridiculous really given how successful their commericial arm is. The licence fee is a TV tax in every sense of the word. Would I lock out the entire BBC in favour of my Sky channels? Yes. Pretty much. Based on typical usage I'd save my 140 quid a year and watch a different news channel, because that's the only BBC channel I watch with any regularity. If they won't sell it individually, I'll buy a competitor that will. Slightly over-simplified, but I think I've made the point.
I don't view gspn or all their other shows negatively, but the fact is I cannot listen to any more podcasts. I don't have the time. Having already reluctantly shed a few shows I already enjoyed, I'm not looking for shows that I don't expect to capture my interest, even if were I to give them a chance I may well enjoy them. At the time of the above one-liner, there was no realistic way for me to continue enjoying all episodes of the Weekly Lost Podcast. Would I pay individually for the show? Perhaps. Were it possible I'd at least consider it.
LOOMIS - fantastic little "everything" shop in Leicester. I could not find a garlic crusher at ASDA anywhere. Same for a sieve. Both of these I found at LOOMIS. Bags for my 10 year old vacumn cleaner - LOOMIS. XLR wires - LOOMIS. Okay I wouldn't buy them there but it's good to know they have them in a balanced audio emergency. Cheap Umbrelllas - LOOMIS. Shops like this seem to be getting rarer. I hope they don't go away completely.
Grants? Yeah. One afternoon I woke up and noticed that students grants pretty much disappeared just before I went to uni and came back shortly after. Difference is, back then I might have felt hard done by. Now I find the prospect of encouraging every single person to seek higher education ridiculous, and given how a large proportion of my loan was spent I'd much rather not see anybody getting that money in grant form. No point getting too far into this. There's entrenched hypocracy of an ex-student whining about the current students who are doing essentially the same thing. I wouldn't change much if I could go back... Okay i'd change a lot of things, but who knows how anything would have turned out. Let it be. I like where I am overall.
Right, this was a fine idea but apparently I have more to say on these than I had expected. I'll do the rest next time perhaps. Now for the shortest most vague recap on my six things list ever.
1. Work gave us a tin of quality street. Failed. (i'm not saying FAIL. That's played, as 0f months ago)
2. Extremely entertained and artistic. Seem to have slipped into regularly watching a soap for the first time in about six years though. Might try to stop that soon.
3. New faces, old faces, hanging round old places. All good.
4. Covering for the boss. Seems about the same. Good and busy, goals untouched.
5. No time to reconsider anything this week. Christmas will give me some thinking time.
6. Lots of weekend walking. I'll always want to walk places. Otherwise, no.
Two to go, don't ya know!
Over the last almost year there have been several occasions on which I almost wrote a post, then decided I was too busy doing something else, that I wasn't informed enough on the topic, or just couldn't really be bothered. I'd like to revist them and try to turn them into something.
Bailouts fail. Banks can't be forced to loan people money. The very prospect is laughable. They'll spend it how they want, and do more of the same.This seems accurate enough to me. Just wasn't quite sure. Since writing that I can't say anything has happened to change my mind. In fact, I see no evidence whatsoever that any bailout package here in the UK or in any other country has had any real impact. Of course, there's a standby of claiming that the bailee was on the brink of collapse, but didn't collapse. That often won't be true, and if they eventually collapse anyway, never will it have been worth it.
So, why would interest rate cuts succeed when the same principle applies. It's a holding pattern. It's a wait and see.
Restrictive Revenue Models: I like the Weekly Lost Podcast from gspn.tv.
And I still do. What I never got around to here was to explain how the hell the title related to the post. I felt that a the time that It's probably a little unfair to bitch about having to pay for something that you previously got for free for some time. The issue I had was that the producer created a subscription service to cover his entire network, and every other show on that network aligns in no way to my interests. The fee is too high for me to justify spending to obtain the individual show. Every second episode was to be for subscribers only. Right now I'm unsure whether this is still the case as the feed has been quiet for a few weeks, so this could be out of date, but probably isn't.
I have the same issue with the BBC. We don't live in a world where everything needs to be bundled. Technology exists to sell people exactly the content they want. The BBC licence fee continues to exist because to countless people like me, a large proportion of what they produce is of no interest, however the money from those that are interested in particular content might not cover costs to produce such things. The BBC seems to have no confidence that it can sell it's content on an individual basis. Ridiculous really given how successful their commericial arm is. The licence fee is a TV tax in every sense of the word. Would I lock out the entire BBC in favour of my Sky channels? Yes. Pretty much. Based on typical usage I'd save my 140 quid a year and watch a different news channel, because that's the only BBC channel I watch with any regularity. If they won't sell it individually, I'll buy a competitor that will. Slightly over-simplified, but I think I've made the point.
I don't view gspn or all their other shows negatively, but the fact is I cannot listen to any more podcasts. I don't have the time. Having already reluctantly shed a few shows I already enjoyed, I'm not looking for shows that I don't expect to capture my interest, even if were I to give them a chance I may well enjoy them. At the time of the above one-liner, there was no realistic way for me to continue enjoying all episodes of the Weekly Lost Podcast. Would I pay individually for the show? Perhaps. Were it possible I'd at least consider it.
I'm noticing a lot of Obama supporters seems to be throwing around libetarian leanings.Not sure where I was seeing this going. I guess I was talking about the people very emphatic about freedom in the lefty liberal sense. Hopefully by now these people are a little more uneasy about the "Office of the President Elect". None of my business anyway. I have the UK political futility to not care about.
LOOMIS
Grants?
LOOMIS - fantastic little "everything" shop in Leicester. I could not find a garlic crusher at ASDA anywhere. Same for a sieve. Both of these I found at LOOMIS. Bags for my 10 year old vacumn cleaner - LOOMIS. XLR wires - LOOMIS. Okay I wouldn't buy them there but it's good to know they have them in a balanced audio emergency. Cheap Umbrelllas - LOOMIS. Shops like this seem to be getting rarer. I hope they don't go away completely.
Grants? Yeah. One afternoon I woke up and noticed that students grants pretty much disappeared just before I went to uni and came back shortly after. Difference is, back then I might have felt hard done by. Now I find the prospect of encouraging every single person to seek higher education ridiculous, and given how a large proportion of my loan was spent I'd much rather not see anybody getting that money in grant form. No point getting too far into this. There's entrenched hypocracy of an ex-student whining about the current students who are doing essentially the same thing. I wouldn't change much if I could go back... Okay i'd change a lot of things, but who knows how anything would have turned out. Let it be. I like where I am overall.
2008 #40 - 700 billion $: It's an interesting week.I think I did post this one. Must have started over. Maybe I changed the title. I can't be bothered to go back to check. No mystery in this one.
Right, this was a fine idea but apparently I have more to say on these than I had expected. I'll do the rest next time perhaps. Now for the shortest most vague recap on my six things list ever.
1. Work gave us a tin of quality street. Failed. (i'm not saying FAIL. That's played, as 0f months ago)
2. Extremely entertained and artistic. Seem to have slipped into regularly watching a soap for the first time in about six years though. Might try to stop that soon.
3. New faces, old faces, hanging round old places. All good.
4. Covering for the boss. Seems about the same. Good and busy, goals untouched.
5. No time to reconsider anything this week. Christmas will give me some thinking time.
6. Lots of weekend walking. I'll always want to walk places. Otherwise, no.
Two to go, don't ya know!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
2008 #49 - Still in a Room Without a View
Not that there are any particularly interesting views around here, but even if I do look out my windows, I can either see next doors kitchen, a row of back yards from the next street along, or the cars out front. Hardly inspiring.
1. Ate less crap last week. Still ate some. No mindless overindulgence. Have started a Calorie spreadsheet. I'm learning weird shit. The can of tuna that makes up most of my lunch seems to contain more kcals than practically anything else I eat. I haven't completed it yet, but my suspicion is that day to day I don't exceed the recommended intake, energy wise at least. That probably explains why I gain no real weight. The lack of exercise probably explains why I lose no real weight. Beyond that it's all about fatty deposits in the innertubes, right? Got to die eventually.
2. Enjoying the films. Pretty bored with the Internet. Trying to be more selective of what I read in my favoured RSS feeds. Poker is killing me. I don't think I ever factored in that odds-wise, if you play more and play properly (last time fuckwits, IT's not a game of luck, IT's not a game of chance, and whilst it may be poker, IT'S NOT FUCKING POKER stabstabkilkill) you have a better chance of winning than if you play less. Now I have lifted my no more than one game restriction i've played more some days, less others but more probably overall. I've managed to win bigger games like in the good old days, but i'm still fighting the current. Fluctuating around the middle ground, not gaining or losing. It's enjoyable to a point, but it's also annoying.
3. Work Christmas party gave me the opportunity to act a little less formally around mostly people that I used to work with. I now sit, at work, very near to a fair number of people that I used to work with closely, a small number whom I technically led (looking back, not really sure how much or well, but I had no official capacity anyway). It's these people I fell into the head nodding acquaintance thing with. Thing is until recently my being there was interesting because it didn't happen very often, so there was always a reason to catch up. Now i'm right round the corner again that quickly wears off, rightly so, but nothing has really replaced it. There are a few people in there i'd genuinely like to speak to more, but unless I run into them it doesn't really happen. What was the point? Right, the party at least got me chatting to a few of them, although not about much. My interests are so incompatible with the majority. It's the geekdom. I don't want to talk about this stuff. I get very irritated when people want to talk about work outside work, bu... i've lost control of this one, i'll admit it. Bad writing. Not gonna fix it. Suffice to say I am feeling a bit boring at the moment. I used to kid myself that I just didn't want to talk shit like everyone else. That's still valid, but back then it didn't occur to me that the shit should actually be replaced with something else. Silence is just boring.
4. Working my arse off at work. No idea when i'm going to be able to work on my annual goals. Once again reminding myself that I can't gain from their completion anyway, so whilst I want and to an extent need to do them, i'm not losing out by putting them off. Let's face it, these things usually happen in the last few months anyway.
5. The reconsidering thing is creeping back. Way too much stuff in my eyes and ears today about not putting things off, not following the herd, etc. All good stuff that I believe in, although just once I'd like the person touting this stuff to admit that it is possible to lose out in these transitions. The message is always do what you want to do. Earn less, be happier. What if I am happy, but can't afford my lifestyle, so am forced to switch to another lifestyle in which I become unhappy. Was that the right move? Maybe I wasn't unhappy to begin with, just frustrated. Thankfully, right now I am happy, work-wise. I want to do some other things, but I am working towards those things. They all require money, and I am saving. The good thing about saving when you're an adult is that you can do it and still make fairly big purchases out of "normal" money. The account dips lower, but eventually recovers. Saving never stopped. Probably an indicator that more could be saved, but I fiigure i'm supposed to be stimulating the economy right now. Certainly nothing else is likely to work (wish so much of my government stolen money hadn't already been spent on those efforts, and would urge you to feel the same)
6. Back to zero. It's so fucking cold for exercise. Stupid really it might warm me up a bit.
1. Ate less crap last week. Still ate some. No mindless overindulgence. Have started a Calorie spreadsheet. I'm learning weird shit. The can of tuna that makes up most of my lunch seems to contain more kcals than practically anything else I eat. I haven't completed it yet, but my suspicion is that day to day I don't exceed the recommended intake, energy wise at least. That probably explains why I gain no real weight. The lack of exercise probably explains why I lose no real weight. Beyond that it's all about fatty deposits in the innertubes, right? Got to die eventually.
2. Enjoying the films. Pretty bored with the Internet. Trying to be more selective of what I read in my favoured RSS feeds. Poker is killing me. I don't think I ever factored in that odds-wise, if you play more and play properly (last time fuckwits, IT's not a game of luck, IT's not a game of chance, and whilst it may be poker, IT'S NOT FUCKING POKER stabstabkilkill) you have a better chance of winning than if you play less. Now I have lifted my no more than one game restriction i've played more some days, less others but more probably overall. I've managed to win bigger games like in the good old days, but i'm still fighting the current. Fluctuating around the middle ground, not gaining or losing. It's enjoyable to a point, but it's also annoying.
3. Work Christmas party gave me the opportunity to act a little less formally around mostly people that I used to work with. I now sit, at work, very near to a fair number of people that I used to work with closely, a small number whom I technically led (looking back, not really sure how much or well, but I had no official capacity anyway). It's these people I fell into the head nodding acquaintance thing with. Thing is until recently my being there was interesting because it didn't happen very often, so there was always a reason to catch up. Now i'm right round the corner again that quickly wears off, rightly so, but nothing has really replaced it. There are a few people in there i'd genuinely like to speak to more, but unless I run into them it doesn't really happen. What was the point? Right, the party at least got me chatting to a few of them, although not about much. My interests are so incompatible with the majority. It's the geekdom. I don't want to talk about this stuff. I get very irritated when people want to talk about work outside work, bu... i've lost control of this one, i'll admit it. Bad writing. Not gonna fix it. Suffice to say I am feeling a bit boring at the moment. I used to kid myself that I just didn't want to talk shit like everyone else. That's still valid, but back then it didn't occur to me that the shit should actually be replaced with something else. Silence is just boring.
4. Working my arse off at work. No idea when i'm going to be able to work on my annual goals. Once again reminding myself that I can't gain from their completion anyway, so whilst I want and to an extent need to do them, i'm not losing out by putting them off. Let's face it, these things usually happen in the last few months anyway.
5. The reconsidering thing is creeping back. Way too much stuff in my eyes and ears today about not putting things off, not following the herd, etc. All good stuff that I believe in, although just once I'd like the person touting this stuff to admit that it is possible to lose out in these transitions. The message is always do what you want to do. Earn less, be happier. What if I am happy, but can't afford my lifestyle, so am forced to switch to another lifestyle in which I become unhappy. Was that the right move? Maybe I wasn't unhappy to begin with, just frustrated. Thankfully, right now I am happy, work-wise. I want to do some other things, but I am working towards those things. They all require money, and I am saving. The good thing about saving when you're an adult is that you can do it and still make fairly big purchases out of "normal" money. The account dips lower, but eventually recovers. Saving never stopped. Probably an indicator that more could be saved, but I fiigure i'm supposed to be stimulating the economy right now. Certainly nothing else is likely to work (wish so much of my government stolen money hadn't already been spent on those efforts, and would urge you to feel the same)
6. Back to zero. It's so fucking cold for exercise. Stupid really it might warm me up a bit.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
2008 #48 Later With...
A few hours later than last week. Definitely late in the grand scheme.
I have nothing of note to put at the top tonight. I just watched Sunshine. Beautiful. This one I do wish I'd seen in the Cinema, but unlike many films I don't know how easy that would have been even if I did know about it around the time it was around.
As you might have gathered from recent things I've said, I am going to complete this year long series and then retire from goal blogging. The purpose this has served is not to be understated, but I firmly believe I can now continue the type of focus this has given me without having to make it a 5-10 point manifesto. Blogging is much more fun when you want to write a post. Even when I enjoyed writing these posts, it was normally because I went off on some tangent.
So, today is 48.
49 will be around 9/12.
50 will be around 16/12
51 will be around 23/12
52 will be the final installment somewhere around the end of the year.
After that, my posts here will be standard cos I can crap. Some of it will continue the themes seen in this series, no doubt, but no more weekly structure, and no guarantee that I'll ever talk about the fact that I'm getting no exercise again, though I do acknowledge this is an ongoing problem..
Now that i've realised there's five to go including the bits of this that I still haven't written this feels a tad premature, but it's the plan. Last thing: they will get briefer, not more detailed, towards the end. The last one might be long though.
1. Winter over-indulgence continues, though not as bad as last week. I'm probably eating a little more than I should be, but I wouldn't call it overeating or overindulging to any great extent.
2. Lovefilm has improved since the first few weeks of the trial and I'm now happy with the service. Great to be enjoying some films again. Recently disappointing TV shows have been good. I remain very entertained. I did say I'd try to get out of the house this week in the evenings but it hasn't happened. It is the work party on Friday though, so that's a whole different form of entertainment!
3. Better week on the whole person to person thing. A lot of the time a better week comes from an opportunity. This weekend was a birthday night out. Enjoyable and social. Am trying to be more talkative in passing at work also. Not a lost cause just yet.
4. Focussed at work, generally. It had to happen eventually - I did have one of those days at work where I didn't want to do any work today. Even the new office can't stop that from happening, however I am very busy and have a very tight deadline to meet in about a week so sitting back isn't an option. Time is flying by at work - that much is definite.
5. Still happy, so nothing of note to talk about. I have finally realised that I have about as little interest in reading about startups as I have for working for one, or indeed starting one. Took me a long time to reach this conclusion. Fire the boss comes with it's own headaches, and the life I want to lead is incompatible with throwing everything into one thing, e.g. work.
6. I picked up the bar bell during this week. I ached for days. I will continue to ease into the weights. See. Still not doing nothing!
Told you it'd be short.
I have nothing of note to put at the top tonight. I just watched Sunshine. Beautiful. This one I do wish I'd seen in the Cinema, but unlike many films I don't know how easy that would have been even if I did know about it around the time it was around.
As you might have gathered from recent things I've said, I am going to complete this year long series and then retire from goal blogging. The purpose this has served is not to be understated, but I firmly believe I can now continue the type of focus this has given me without having to make it a 5-10 point manifesto. Blogging is much more fun when you want to write a post. Even when I enjoyed writing these posts, it was normally because I went off on some tangent.
So, today is 48.
49 will be around 9/12.
50 will be around 16/12
51 will be around 23/12
52 will be the final installment somewhere around the end of the year.
After that, my posts here will be standard cos I can crap. Some of it will continue the themes seen in this series, no doubt, but no more weekly structure, and no guarantee that I'll ever talk about the fact that I'm getting no exercise again, though I do acknowledge this is an ongoing problem..
Now that i've realised there's five to go including the bits of this that I still haven't written this feels a tad premature, but it's the plan. Last thing: they will get briefer, not more detailed, towards the end. The last one might be long though.
1. Winter over-indulgence continues, though not as bad as last week. I'm probably eating a little more than I should be, but I wouldn't call it overeating or overindulging to any great extent.
2. Lovefilm has improved since the first few weeks of the trial and I'm now happy with the service. Great to be enjoying some films again. Recently disappointing TV shows have been good. I remain very entertained. I did say I'd try to get out of the house this week in the evenings but it hasn't happened. It is the work party on Friday though, so that's a whole different form of entertainment!
3. Better week on the whole person to person thing. A lot of the time a better week comes from an opportunity. This weekend was a birthday night out. Enjoyable and social. Am trying to be more talkative in passing at work also. Not a lost cause just yet.
4. Focussed at work, generally. It had to happen eventually - I did have one of those days at work where I didn't want to do any work today. Even the new office can't stop that from happening, however I am very busy and have a very tight deadline to meet in about a week so sitting back isn't an option. Time is flying by at work - that much is definite.
5. Still happy, so nothing of note to talk about. I have finally realised that I have about as little interest in reading about startups as I have for working for one, or indeed starting one. Took me a long time to reach this conclusion. Fire the boss comes with it's own headaches, and the life I want to lead is incompatible with throwing everything into one thing, e.g. work.
6. I picked up the bar bell during this week. I ached for days. I will continue to ease into the weights. See. Still not doing nothing!
Told you it'd be short.
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