2008 #21 - Concentration

Since youth, concentration has been slipping. Surroundings don't help. I now sit on a bank of desks with three people who like to talk pretty much throughout the day. The difference is they seem to be able to work at the same time. I cannot. It's not a big problem. My main job can be carried out with relative ease. In most cases either I can do something well or not at all because I don't have the tools, but the concentration lacking slows things down. I'm not ploughing through requests at a decent rate at the moment. Then again, there aren't that many and the level of non-commitment to what's next for us is getting real old. Did I mention i'm sick of this job? I think I did.

It really is stuff like this that causes this feeling too. It's not the work itself. For some reason as soon as somebody reaches management they immediately start to disregard just these types of issue. A survey completed by 100% of people in our department revealed communication to be the thing we're worst at. The same survey said the same thing last year in what was essentially the same department.

The only thing worse than the communication is the ability of management to take any real action to improve it. LIKE ensuring cascades actually happen, LIKE realising that everybody knows the rumours, and there might be no benefit to not just confirming it now. Let's be honest. If you're not telling us, it's probably because you don't really want to. KiP, right?

It may not be that simple in our case. There may be nothing to say. I have suspected for a few months now that the entire line of management above me has no real plan for our team of 7 beyond the rest of this year.

Yeah I know waah waahh I work for a big company that's just like every other big company. Spreadsheets, restructures and lack of shareholder value. At least our unique market position means the share price is fairly independent of how people perform. That said, the fact that this is realised is also probably what leads to the actions that cause this type of discontent. Why do things differently when everything appears to be working out. Impressive earnings were reported last week. Wonder if there's a bonus for that. Probably not a big one. I work in the part of the business that does least well and makes much less money.

Quick update on the points:

1. I suck with this food thing. I have snacked at work two of the last two work days. Since removing the salad, the Tuna tastes better, but it doesn't feel like a meal. Thought required. On a related topic, 3.3 breasts of chicken cost me over £6 at ASDA late on Sunday. I really hope this was just leftover non-value brand and not the new normal price because otherwise that has doubled over the last year. At least i'm getting more meals from the same amount of purchased food now.

2. Poker time minimal at the moment. I fancy a real game. The Facebook game is getting duller. I'm hovering around broke again. It's only fun when you have some chips. Very much keeping to the rule. Some days not even bothering.

3. My Camera went with me on Saturday night. Took a few nice pics and a ridiculous 3 minute video in which I tried to force my friends to give their opinions on recent natural disasters. Why? No idea. Did it achieve anything? Not really. Still, the camera finally got used again, which is good. Also marvelled at sliding it's SD card into the slot on the new laptop that i'd forgotten about. Very handy. USB cables hardly necessary for that kind of thing anymore. The TV I will almost certainly buy also has a slot.

4. Saw my London friends at the weekend, as mentioned above. Good times. Missed the opportunity to see a few others the same night, and have a feeling I missed something major. Will go fishing for that later. I'm not above talking about people i'm afraid.


Hard Part

1. Getting dangerously close to not having a song for May. I find myself wanting to work harder on the songs I have already put together rather than forcing myself to come up with a new idea for the sake of it. I may actually succumb to this, because I can't see any reason not to. As far as the music goes, whatever means the most to me is probably the best thing to do. I'm not committing to this change yet though. Check back next week. Maybe i'll hit on an idea.

2. As discussed, no goals at work for the moment. Another contributing factor to everything I talk about above.

3. Not having much in the way of ideas at the moment. Part of the problem might be realising I seem to very much in the swim category financially now. There is very clearly a storm coming, or already atop us, and it's hard to see how quickly it will begin to lift. I'm in a very good position to weather this storm right now. Cheap rent, slightly above average salary (for age) and no dependants. I am of course reliant on about 30 litres of diesel fuel a week, which is pretty much spearheading the current price rocket. That's a tough one. There will be a point where work will have to understand the sheer cost of travelling to work is unacceptable when there are acceptable alternatives. I hope.

4. Not a bad week of exercise. A little less cycling due to a few days of less favourable weather, but all in all I believe I have swam, in what was my finest non-stop 1 mile swim to date, I have cycled on at least two occasions, but I think it was three, all reasonable distances, and I have this evening capped it off with a little weight work. I'm sure i'm lifting too much weight. It seems very hard compared to how it used to feel. Somebody suggested perhaps the sandstone in the weights took on water whilst it was in storage. That seems feasible. Next week I might cut them down a bit. Must also remember not to do weights and swimming on consecutive days as a rule.

Failed again to keep this short.

Bullet time:

- My boiler might be breaking.

- I think i'm gonna get a 1080p TV. The popular Panasonic 37" LCD model with 80 in the model number. That will of course mean getting the more expensive bench to hold it.

- I bought loads of house plants. Well... 3. This room looks infinitely better now.

- My laptop makes noises that I don't like the sounds of at completely random intervals. I want to think it's fan related but it sounds like it's from the drive. I wish I had some idea what it was. Best described as a spring loaded plastic release sound. Hopefully it's nothing. That aside this laptop is still the best thing in my home. Except me of course. It can even watch the place when i'm not there and email me if anything moves. Would love to understand how that's useful.

EDIT: Just realised what it sounds like. Remember the sound a floppy drive would make as it drew back the metal/plastic guard in order to read the disc. Sounds very much like that. Ideas?