Interesting week. This evening I watched Bush almost apologetically talk about the failure of the 700billon splurge thing. Apologetic it seemed towards the people that didn't want it. Desperate to save the people that seem to be saying they don't want to be saved. Desperate to save the people that knowingly participated in the years of madness and probably don't deserve it.
People are far too quick to discount the bail-out because it's for the banks. Why should they prop up the banks? In reality listen to what's being said and it's to create stability for the people of the US. You can ride it that far without much difficulty. This is why both presidential candidates can support the idea though they're supposedly opposites. The easiest argument against is that a failing business should collapse. This is how the market is supposed to work. Propping it up is artificial. The justification for this is that more than just the businesses will collapse. Everybody else's finances will too.
Or will the hardest hit actually be the people that took the most advantage, spending non-existent money on more than they needed and certainly more than they could genuinely justify being able to afford.
I'm not entirely decided on this issue, but as you can see i'm swaying towards the "let it burn" camp. This, however, is a luxury I have, not being American. How i'd feel were I over there, it's harder to say. Thankfully in the UK the government has far less interest in public opinion, and we're already on to the second bank with minimal consultation. Once we add it all up, as often is the case in these UK/US comparisons, we'll find ourselves with a figure around 50% of theirs even though we're about 20% of their size, no doubt.
On to more important matters.
1. I ate well last week. Home cooking from the past Sunday provided 3 meals for the more recent period, all healthy enough. Portion-wise I could stretch this pans worth to another meal, but there has to come a point where I admit I just can't eat the same meal five times in a week. I need to buy some freezer bags. Work food ethic is going well enough. Overall not as good as it's been, but still not bad.
2. I've not played for 3 days now. Rule stands.
3. This rule, as mentioned last week, is done. I will skip no.3 from now on.
4. Went for a night out in Birmingham. Turned into a Snobs type night. My jesus I hate that fucking place. How did anyone convince so many self-absorbed arseholes to walk into one building in one night I have no idea. Subside however is still a very nice place to relax to some metal. Good to see people I rarely see. Seem to have started a war with another friend (or perhaps not) on Facebook. All good. Very high school. I am taking the high road and ignoring it (which is a secret low road cos I hope that pisses her off). I do like people. Just not all of them, and not all of the time.
5. My playing has been improving again over the past week. When the right combination of motivation, pick, string and even hardened fingertips come together I can actually sound pretty good. My singing voice seems to be shit at the moment. I wish I could find some consistency in that area. I almost wish more for that than guitar skill. Do like singing.
6. Getting into my work over the past week. It's been quite interesting. Trying to meet the work goals in doing this, although predictably the real work gets in the way a little. That's not unusual.
7. Most thinking this week has been economic. I have resigned myself to waiting for the clarity we seek at work before deciding how to proceed. I might go back to my early tens plan of moving to the West Midlands, but I'm only luke-warm on the idea.
8. Didn't manage any exercise. Full stop.
Anybody reading this can't fail to notice that my goal reviews have been a bit lacking in focus over the past few weeks. This is partly because it's getting old writing the same stuff, partly because i'm just not doing as much towards them as I should be, and partly because i've lost sight of the purpose of some of them. I promise next week i'll try to do a longer review and get back to the actual points. Not tonight though. Incidentally I suspect I might have a faulty gas appliance. If I never write to this blog again, you can assume it killed me tonight.
Final thought (you know, in case I die): Democracy seems like a crock of shit much of the time and it comes in many flavours and degrees but for a brief period last night a democratically elected representative government appeared to work in the US. People said no, representatives said no, so the answer was no. Watching the anger was refreshing. It almost feels as if something big might be happening.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
2008 #39 - Quickie
I have no desire to write much today. A few brief thoughts and facts.
- Dell sent me a Toshiba disk, not a Western Digital as promised. So far though, no clicking.
- My landline stopped working for a while this morning. I realised that I didn't care enough to spend any of my own time getting it fixed. Still glad it started working again though.
- Tuesday appears to be the day I do this now.
1. During the week I ate well. During the weekend I ate better than last weekend. Reasonably well hydrated I managed to weigh in at 12 stone a few mornings ago. Normally that only happens when i'm missing most of my water after a night out!
2. Still trying to get back up there in Poker. Nothing interesting, move along, rule stands.
3. No photographs. I am actually ready to entirely retire this goal now. It no longer serves any purpose or aligns with what I want to be doing with my time. I will consider this before next week.
4. Had a visitor at the weekend, which is rare these days. Am making an effort to talk to people online. This is all well on track at the moment. There are a few people that perhaps i'm avoiding talking to a little, but i'll get over that sooner or later.
5. Been experimenting with various picks after last weeks realisation. Was definitely missing a trick. Also must break the cycle of wearing down picks then continuing to use them for six months. They're not that expensive really. I'm almost ready to get back to recording, but I think i'm going to go back to Audition for a bit, as i'm rather good with that now, whilst Ableton remains confusing.
6. Working on paying more attention to our internal SLAs this week. Feels ridiculous asking people to change little dates in an Excel sheet and more red tapey than I'd like, but it does feel like i'm managing expectations a little more carefully. I have a few interesting things on my plate at present which is keeping me from blowing my brains out.
7. My mind is on money, as are the minds of many people right now. I'm frustrated by the amount I am gaining given how much more I earn than I used to. I could spend less, but there are things I need and want. I find myself thinking i'm fortunate also, because a lack of savings means economic collapse hits me a little less hard. That said, the smart money is on the guy that knows what to do when money becomes either worthless, or hyperinflated to the point of a bread costing hundreds or thoustands of pounds. Right now that's not me, but i'm thinking about it.
8. I went for a ride on Sunday. It was the last nice weekend of the year most likely, so it had to be done. I went exploring the streets of the area that I have been less familiar with, so it wasn't as strenuous as it might have been, but it's better than the recent nothing, and I did not, as I mentioned I might, ignore the issue completely for another week. Where I take this from here i'm not sure. I need to try it in really bad weather.
Not quite as quick as i'd hoped. Out.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
My Samsung Hard Drive Failed. Ubuntu sort of saved the day, so i'm here to bitch about it.
I believe on occasion when talking about the laptop I acquired about 5 months ago i've mentioned the occasional clicking and sometimes beeping from the hard drive. I eventually found a thread about this on a forum but like so many threads on a tech topic, it bottomed out before reaching a conclusion. It was something to do with acoustic noise suppression - quieting the drive down for slight performance loss.
Apparently the clicking is a symptom of a bad drive handling this technology, or at least thats as close to an explanation as I could get from Dell. They wouldn't acknowledge it was damaging the drive as it went, but I dunno - those clicks sounded pretty detrimental to me, and somebody else in the said thread did say that it was degrading their drive statistically.
Anyways, I left home to get a haircut mid-afternoon Saturday leaving the laptop switched on, sitting on the bed. When I returned home I saw Vista was reloading itself - you know - the nearly blank screen with the green progress bar (home edition - it might be blue in the version with the wavy grass - I dunno). I just figured MS might have installed some updates then rebooted after a countdown, which i've moaned about before. Five minutes later nothing had changed.
Long story less long, various methods of booting all failed eventually leading me to run the Dell Diagnostics in the BIOS. What we identified were at least 4 bad blocks. This in 8 digit hex code form was enough to convince Dell that it was time to ship me a new drive, which I will have to take another day off work to receive.
The dying drive is a Samsung 320GB model. The replacement will be a Western Digital. I'm very glad about this.
Lifetime drive experience to date:
Quantum - Fail 1
Samsung - Fail 1
Western Digital - Fail 0
Thanks, at least, to to the sheer beauty of compatibility between all SATA drive sizes, I have been able to dangle the tiny laptop drive from a wire in my old desktop and grab the few files of value on the drive, which hasn't yet fallen completely, but obviously will before too long. It's badly enough damaged that it stops XP on that unit booting when connected, but not badly enough that Ubuntu can't handle it.
Which brings me to the beauty of Ubuntu. I am sitting in the seat I normally sit in, on the laptop I normally write on. On the front left of that laptop is a gaping hole where a hard drive should be. Only thanks to Ubuntu is this remotely possible, via the "try before you install" bootable CD based version of the OS.
Ubuntu is a pain in the arse for many things:
- Input. Keyboard can be a nightmare. During this post I have on several occasions ended up with unresponsive keys, shifting focus and strings of one character speeding off to the right, and I know there's nothing wrong with the keyboard itself.
- Input. My trackpad simply doesn't work under Hardy. The pointer flies all over the place registering clicks that simply aren't happening. It worked fine this morning under an older Gutsy CD - now i'm forced to plug in a USB mouse, which works fine. If I wanted to keep using Hardy on this machine, it would be a nightmare.
- GNOME. It's clunky as hell. It's very impressive for free, but the Linux community's long standing inability to accept that open source alone does not solve all problems is.... well, still standing.
- Ease of Configuration. Ubuntu is the most user configurable distribution I've ever used. That said, my previous experiences were the vanilla Debian and Slackware, both of which are known to be less friendly. Nonetheless, if Ubuntu is to become what it by rights should become, it needs to achieve the ease of use of a Mac/Windows, and I said Mac first not because I know much about them, just based on testimony, and the fact that fanboys would scoff that I consider Windows easy to use if I didn't also mention the Mac.
On Vista, which I was using yesterday before the crash I plug in an HDMI cable and instantly have an extended desktop. On Ubuntu, plugging the cable in does nothing. Through a hard to understand panel I manage to get the TV to show the same screen, but extending the desktop - no idea.
On Vista I HATED the fact that most applications didn't let me switch between sound outputs. Most use the default, so we resort to switching the default in the Control Panel. This to me has always seemed terrible, however I created a shortcut to it in the quick launch and now it happens quickly when I want to redirect sound to my TV via HDMI. On Ubuntu I simply can't figure out how to begin doing this, so I don't think i'll be performing my normal ritual of watching TV through the laptop tonight.
Conclusion - Linux is ready to do pretty much everything anybody needs it to, but not without sound understanding. Vista and Leopard both stand tall above Ubuntu. When I bought my laptop I intended to switch it to Ubuntu after trialing Vista for a few days. I only now finally see how much I lose if I try to make do with Ubuntu. When my new drive arrives I will dutifully reinstall Vista.
John C Dvorak often trots out the idea that Linux on the desktop might take off if Adobe released a version of Photoshop for it, but as things stand, it's hard to see how they could build it to work fluidly enough in this nightmare interface. Certainly GIMP is no fun to use. His other idea that Google might buy Ubuntu and create Google Linux... Perhaps, if they threw some interface expertise at it, that might be a good thing. Rebadging this product though, wouldn't get anyone anywhere.
Ubuntu great for letting me use my laptop without a hard drive - really great, but the interface and configurability suck more than I remembered.
Apparently the clicking is a symptom of a bad drive handling this technology, or at least thats as close to an explanation as I could get from Dell. They wouldn't acknowledge it was damaging the drive as it went, but I dunno - those clicks sounded pretty detrimental to me, and somebody else in the said thread did say that it was degrading their drive statistically.
Anyways, I left home to get a haircut mid-afternoon Saturday leaving the laptop switched on, sitting on the bed. When I returned home I saw Vista was reloading itself - you know - the nearly blank screen with the green progress bar (home edition - it might be blue in the version with the wavy grass - I dunno). I just figured MS might have installed some updates then rebooted after a countdown, which i've moaned about before. Five minutes later nothing had changed.
Long story less long, various methods of booting all failed eventually leading me to run the Dell Diagnostics in the BIOS. What we identified were at least 4 bad blocks. This in 8 digit hex code form was enough to convince Dell that it was time to ship me a new drive, which I will have to take another day off work to receive.
The dying drive is a Samsung 320GB model. The replacement will be a Western Digital. I'm very glad about this.
Lifetime drive experience to date:
Quantum - Fail 1
Samsung - Fail 1
Western Digital - Fail 0
Thanks, at least, to to the sheer beauty of compatibility between all SATA drive sizes, I have been able to dangle the tiny laptop drive from a wire in my old desktop and grab the few files of value on the drive, which hasn't yet fallen completely, but obviously will before too long. It's badly enough damaged that it stops XP on that unit booting when connected, but not badly enough that Ubuntu can't handle it.
Which brings me to the beauty of Ubuntu. I am sitting in the seat I normally sit in, on the laptop I normally write on. On the front left of that laptop is a gaping hole where a hard drive should be. Only thanks to Ubuntu is this remotely possible, via the "try before you install" bootable CD based version of the OS.
Ubuntu is a pain in the arse for many things:
- Input. Keyboard can be a nightmare. During this post I have on several occasions ended up with unresponsive keys, shifting focus and strings of one character speeding off to the right, and I know there's nothing wrong with the keyboard itself.
- Input. My trackpad simply doesn't work under Hardy. The pointer flies all over the place registering clicks that simply aren't happening. It worked fine this morning under an older Gutsy CD - now i'm forced to plug in a USB mouse, which works fine. If I wanted to keep using Hardy on this machine, it would be a nightmare.
- GNOME. It's clunky as hell. It's very impressive for free, but the Linux community's long standing inability to accept that open source alone does not solve all problems is.... well, still standing.
- Ease of Configuration. Ubuntu is the most user configurable distribution I've ever used. That said, my previous experiences were the vanilla Debian and Slackware, both of which are known to be less friendly. Nonetheless, if Ubuntu is to become what it by rights should become, it needs to achieve the ease of use of a Mac/Windows, and I said Mac first not because I know much about them, just based on testimony, and the fact that fanboys would scoff that I consider Windows easy to use if I didn't also mention the Mac.
On Vista, which I was using yesterday before the crash I plug in an HDMI cable and instantly have an extended desktop. On Ubuntu, plugging the cable in does nothing. Through a hard to understand panel I manage to get the TV to show the same screen, but extending the desktop - no idea.
On Vista I HATED the fact that most applications didn't let me switch between sound outputs. Most use the default, so we resort to switching the default in the Control Panel. This to me has always seemed terrible, however I created a shortcut to it in the quick launch and now it happens quickly when I want to redirect sound to my TV via HDMI. On Ubuntu I simply can't figure out how to begin doing this, so I don't think i'll be performing my normal ritual of watching TV through the laptop tonight.
Conclusion - Linux is ready to do pretty much everything anybody needs it to, but not without sound understanding. Vista and Leopard both stand tall above Ubuntu. When I bought my laptop I intended to switch it to Ubuntu after trialing Vista for a few days. I only now finally see how much I lose if I try to make do with Ubuntu. When my new drive arrives I will dutifully reinstall Vista.
John C Dvorak often trots out the idea that Linux on the desktop might take off if Adobe released a version of Photoshop for it, but as things stand, it's hard to see how they could build it to work fluidly enough in this nightmare interface. Certainly GIMP is no fun to use. His other idea that Google might buy Ubuntu and create Google Linux... Perhaps, if they threw some interface expertise at it, that might be a good thing. Rebadging this product though, wouldn't get anyone anywhere.
Ubuntu great for letting me use my laptop without a hard drive - really great, but the interface and configurability suck more than I remembered.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
2008 #38 - Weight Lifting
Well, it's over. For a few weeks at least, i'm the only person living in this house and I no longer have to worry about being the target of the guy i've been calling a nut this week. I feel different tonight, as if a giant weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I also feel remorse.
I'm not a religious person in any sense of the word. I am unchristened (remind me to talk about people's reaction to that sometime, whoa) and don't have a strong belief in any kind of god, but I can still recognise and try to live by the few good things that certain religions teach. I refer here, to turning the other cheek.
Last night, the night after the night with no sleep, I woke at 4:30am to more banging. 20 minutes later he was at my door. This was unexpected, as the landlord had actually warned him against bothering me again on his last night in the property on punishment of eventual eviction (he can move him immediately, but only end a tenancy with standard notice). Now, I have been scared in this situation, and it has certainly been a rough few days, but given that I think I at least partly understand what's happening with this guy, and the fact that I knew he would be gone from my life today, I regret my reaction.
Filled with my new sense of victory, no longer scared of invasion after figuring out what I could use to defend myself in the flat, In my head I was willing him to come to the door, something which he didn't do on the previous night. The feeling is best described by the phrase "right, now it's my turn". Previous conversations have started in exactly the same way and ended in confusion and a shake of the head as he headed back upstairs. This morning, I yelled at him. For some reason fuelled by his backing off in reaction to my now raised voice, he closes with "relax, you're alright" I closed with "but you're not alright are you, i've had enough, go upstairs, go to sleep, fuck off!"
In the minutes and hours following the conversation I was proud at the speed and relative clarity of my response. By the time he was moving his stuff out (out of sight of me entirely) I felt less good about it, and by the time the landlord returned and we briefly discussed the matter it pretty much hit home that my reaction, if it had any impact, could only negatively influence him.
In my defence, I had just been woken for the third time in 20 minutes, and his yelling from upstairs included the last two words of my sentence. The stress was affecting me - I was shaking like a leaf as I walked to the door and literally shaking like a lawnmower afterwards for about 10 minutes. The difference is, I know what i'm doing, whereas he clearly doesn't, and wasn't willing to accept that his delusion wasn't real, so really all I did was bully him into submission. I didn't reassure him, or reason with him. I didn't take the time to think that given this was definitely the end of the matter, there was nothing to be achieved by making him feel worse.
My insistance that I cannot let this stranger negatively influence my life stands true, but I had already achieved that end by the time I did this. It won't keep me awake, and it's not the worst thing I ever did by a long shot, but it's made today bittersweet, given the weight has been lifted and i'm otherwise much happier.
I often think I have the nice guy curse, but mine is a double curse. I am selfish, and I don't consider others as much as I should, but everybody thinks I'm this nice guy. I have all the fun of being the arsehole that the ladies love but generally exhibiting all the traits which means I get the nice guy brushoff. Result, feel bad about myself at home on my own, and write about it to record it, move past it and stop thinking about it, allowing me to move on to something else, like my goals.
1. A few takeaways got eaten last week. This week planning to not do that so much. I talk of cycles occasionally. If one cycle is definite in my life, it's eating patterns. I will phase between eating well for a while then eating badly for a while. These goals have made the cycles shorter, but i'm not sure they have decreased the frequency of the bad part of the cycle much. Tuna is back in Asda so lunch is back on track.
2. Believe it or not I didn't hit rock bottom in poker. Still not freerolling, but 5-6 losses off broke rather than 1-2 now. I have played some extra games during my last few days off work while dealing with the neighbourly problems. That's okay - the rule is about work nights.
3. Took some photos of my old broken guitar to see if I could get some advice from a local repair guy on the feasibility of fixing and selling. Not bad close-ups I must say.
4. A rather fun weekend. Listened to a song called "This Ones Going to Leave a Bruise" just before leaving the house, a nice and recent LTJ song with the premise that even after all this time, the going out as if you were still 21 actually stands for something, with the crowd of familiar faces that you may or may not know. Flash forward a few hours. I jump up to the DJ's stage to make a request, make it, then attempt a slick descent. Slick it wasn't. Painful, it now is. At the time it didn't hurt at all. So, when I walk home drunk and wake up bruised, i'd like to thank each of you. Doing a little better keeping in touch with people this week overall.
5. Been picking up the acoustic a lot this week. I have learned that I don't place enough importance in the type of pick i'm using. I only recently learned that all these different colours of dunlop picks are of different thicknesses. I always picked my favorite colours! Acoustically i'm far better off with something a bit thinner. I was mislead on this in the past, believing a heavy pick was necessary to get a loud enough sound from the strings/box. Back then, my lack of volume was actually caused by the instrument I was playing. My two newer acoustics could and can make plenty of noise with a light pick.
6. Work goals were reviewed, and mostly similar to past ones, though this time shoehorned to make my very specific role fit my very non-specific job title of project supervisor. I have some new responsibilities to set up some interfaces, which I am dreading in the good way. If there's one think i need at work right now it's to widen my network. Having now reached the top of my grade it could be some time before I get a real terms payrise again, if ever. That's a sobering thought given how quickly my income has risen in the past three years. I can still make effective raises myself - i believe I am 4-5 years from having paid off my student loan, and of course there's always the chance or choice of losing my commute. The raise I have just got is about the amount I spend on fuel in a year. Funny to think about, although irrelevant as i've always had to pay for it anyway. In about a year all my immediate colleagues will finally have to start paying too, and i'll feel just a little less hard done by, even though I personally gain nothing. Tie this back to early on in this post - I am more of an arsehole than you think I am. Fuck this is getting long.
7. After my diatribe last week this will be shorter. I wanna be artistic! It's all I can think at this point is going to get me closer to the meaning I long for. It's not just music. I'd love to design, draw, paint, dance, act, host. Most of those I haven't tried, and those I have tried, results weren't encouraging. I see the art in good code and despise bad code. Elegant algorithms are also artistic, but they don't touch people. A good fast interface and good fast running, people like, but it's a stretch to hope it will touch somebody - influence them enough to rethink things. Some would argue Apple and Jobs do manage this, but there's an enormous scam element to that story - it's more than artistic vs the world at large. It's more like a cult than a company. I will continue on my quest to find something artistic that I do well enough to.. keep doing it. I'll never make any money in this field, i'm guessing. Nobody else does, even the talented.
8. Full fail two weeks running. My mindset isn't even entertaining the possibility of cycling right now for no good reason I can find. I will try to resist the temptation to ignore this for another week. Did the title of this post imply I had been doing some weight lifting? No, I don't believe so.
No long final thoughts this time. You've read enough. Just to say again, if you're ever in a situation where you can turn the other cheek, when there is no risk of any loss to yourself, but risk of harming another in some way, no matter how small - just do it. I didn't, but I wish I had. This post would have been half the length!
I'm not a religious person in any sense of the word. I am unchristened (remind me to talk about people's reaction to that sometime, whoa) and don't have a strong belief in any kind of god, but I can still recognise and try to live by the few good things that certain religions teach. I refer here, to turning the other cheek.
Last night, the night after the night with no sleep, I woke at 4:30am to more banging. 20 minutes later he was at my door. This was unexpected, as the landlord had actually warned him against bothering me again on his last night in the property on punishment of eventual eviction (he can move him immediately, but only end a tenancy with standard notice). Now, I have been scared in this situation, and it has certainly been a rough few days, but given that I think I at least partly understand what's happening with this guy, and the fact that I knew he would be gone from my life today, I regret my reaction.
Filled with my new sense of victory, no longer scared of invasion after figuring out what I could use to defend myself in the flat, In my head I was willing him to come to the door, something which he didn't do on the previous night. The feeling is best described by the phrase "right, now it's my turn". Previous conversations have started in exactly the same way and ended in confusion and a shake of the head as he headed back upstairs. This morning, I yelled at him. For some reason fuelled by his backing off in reaction to my now raised voice, he closes with "relax, you're alright" I closed with "but you're not alright are you, i've had enough, go upstairs, go to sleep, fuck off!"
In the minutes and hours following the conversation I was proud at the speed and relative clarity of my response. By the time he was moving his stuff out (out of sight of me entirely) I felt less good about it, and by the time the landlord returned and we briefly discussed the matter it pretty much hit home that my reaction, if it had any impact, could only negatively influence him.
In my defence, I had just been woken for the third time in 20 minutes, and his yelling from upstairs included the last two words of my sentence. The stress was affecting me - I was shaking like a leaf as I walked to the door and literally shaking like a lawnmower afterwards for about 10 minutes. The difference is, I know what i'm doing, whereas he clearly doesn't, and wasn't willing to accept that his delusion wasn't real, so really all I did was bully him into submission. I didn't reassure him, or reason with him. I didn't take the time to think that given this was definitely the end of the matter, there was nothing to be achieved by making him feel worse.
My insistance that I cannot let this stranger negatively influence my life stands true, but I had already achieved that end by the time I did this. It won't keep me awake, and it's not the worst thing I ever did by a long shot, but it's made today bittersweet, given the weight has been lifted and i'm otherwise much happier.
I often think I have the nice guy curse, but mine is a double curse. I am selfish, and I don't consider others as much as I should, but everybody thinks I'm this nice guy. I have all the fun of being the arsehole that the ladies love but generally exhibiting all the traits which means I get the nice guy brushoff. Result, feel bad about myself at home on my own, and write about it to record it, move past it and stop thinking about it, allowing me to move on to something else, like my goals.
1. A few takeaways got eaten last week. This week planning to not do that so much. I talk of cycles occasionally. If one cycle is definite in my life, it's eating patterns. I will phase between eating well for a while then eating badly for a while. These goals have made the cycles shorter, but i'm not sure they have decreased the frequency of the bad part of the cycle much. Tuna is back in Asda so lunch is back on track.
2. Believe it or not I didn't hit rock bottom in poker. Still not freerolling, but 5-6 losses off broke rather than 1-2 now. I have played some extra games during my last few days off work while dealing with the neighbourly problems. That's okay - the rule is about work nights.
3. Took some photos of my old broken guitar to see if I could get some advice from a local repair guy on the feasibility of fixing and selling. Not bad close-ups I must say.
4. A rather fun weekend. Listened to a song called "This Ones Going to Leave a Bruise" just before leaving the house, a nice and recent LTJ song with the premise that even after all this time, the going out as if you were still 21 actually stands for something, with the crowd of familiar faces that you may or may not know. Flash forward a few hours. I jump up to the DJ's stage to make a request, make it, then attempt a slick descent. Slick it wasn't. Painful, it now is. At the time it didn't hurt at all. So, when I walk home drunk and wake up bruised, i'd like to thank each of you. Doing a little better keeping in touch with people this week overall.
5. Been picking up the acoustic a lot this week. I have learned that I don't place enough importance in the type of pick i'm using. I only recently learned that all these different colours of dunlop picks are of different thicknesses. I always picked my favorite colours! Acoustically i'm far better off with something a bit thinner. I was mislead on this in the past, believing a heavy pick was necessary to get a loud enough sound from the strings/box. Back then, my lack of volume was actually caused by the instrument I was playing. My two newer acoustics could and can make plenty of noise with a light pick.
6. Work goals were reviewed, and mostly similar to past ones, though this time shoehorned to make my very specific role fit my very non-specific job title of project supervisor. I have some new responsibilities to set up some interfaces, which I am dreading in the good way. If there's one think i need at work right now it's to widen my network. Having now reached the top of my grade it could be some time before I get a real terms payrise again, if ever. That's a sobering thought given how quickly my income has risen in the past three years. I can still make effective raises myself - i believe I am 4-5 years from having paid off my student loan, and of course there's always the chance or choice of losing my commute. The raise I have just got is about the amount I spend on fuel in a year. Funny to think about, although irrelevant as i've always had to pay for it anyway. In about a year all my immediate colleagues will finally have to start paying too, and i'll feel just a little less hard done by, even though I personally gain nothing. Tie this back to early on in this post - I am more of an arsehole than you think I am. Fuck this is getting long.
7. After my diatribe last week this will be shorter. I wanna be artistic! It's all I can think at this point is going to get me closer to the meaning I long for. It's not just music. I'd love to design, draw, paint, dance, act, host. Most of those I haven't tried, and those I have tried, results weren't encouraging. I see the art in good code and despise bad code. Elegant algorithms are also artistic, but they don't touch people. A good fast interface and good fast running, people like, but it's a stretch to hope it will touch somebody - influence them enough to rethink things. Some would argue Apple and Jobs do manage this, but there's an enormous scam element to that story - it's more than artistic vs the world at large. It's more like a cult than a company. I will continue on my quest to find something artistic that I do well enough to.. keep doing it. I'll never make any money in this field, i'm guessing. Nobody else does, even the talented.
8. Full fail two weeks running. My mindset isn't even entertaining the possibility of cycling right now for no good reason I can find. I will try to resist the temptation to ignore this for another week. Did the title of this post imply I had been doing some weight lifting? No, I don't believe so.
No long final thoughts this time. You've read enough. Just to say again, if you're ever in a situation where you can turn the other cheek, when there is no risk of any loss to yourself, but risk of harming another in some way, no matter how small - just do it. I didn't, but I wish I had. This post would have been half the length!
Monday, September 15, 2008
It's cool.. but why does it work that way? a.k.a BANG BANG BANG
I'll refrain from writing my weekly update right now as it's too early and i'm fried/wiped. That might in line with new tradition come tomorrow.
Imagine you live below a guy that, all signs say, hears noises/voices that aren't there. Now imagine that this guy believes you are the person making these noises. In the dead of Sunday night, which for a city is incredibly quiet around here, this guy woke me up hour after hour violently banging on his floor/my ceiling.
I'm a night pussy (not like the cat version of a night owl - i mean a coward). There's something different about my mind in the darkness of night that means a guy banging on the floor, banging that I know is wrongly directed right at me, scares the shit out of me.
From all the criminals outside I have an outer door and an inner door protecting me, but there's only one door between me and this guy, and I don't think i'd have any trouble kicking it open. As i've mentioned before, it already rattles from when the same guy kicked it last time.
I think if I had someone with me, the correct male urges (not those, the other ones) would set in and it would be about protecting her. Lying there alone knowing someone is against me and can't be reasoned with (i've tried again and again in the less pussy daytime) I find myself shitting and shaking, creeping around desparately trying not to validate his belief that i'm up to something by being visible and actually awake.
As 6am and light rolled around things started to look less terrifying. He had eventually let up somewhere around 5am and I believe I caught about an hour's sleep, but work was out of the question. Yes, this post is awesomely written but I'd be no good for VBA today.
In the night terror state I made a decision that today would mark (his name is Mark, incidentally) a turning point. Either our landlord would do something decisive to change this, or I will be the one to move.
I have at least a little sympathy for the guy. If he is schizophrenic or similar the behaviour would be somewhat understandable, however I cannot let the mental health problems of somebody I don't know influence my life so negatively in this way. This is why if push comes to shove, I'll have to go through the pain. Realistically it's the only way i'll gain control of the situation. Later today i'll hopefully know what the landlord plans. On the phone he seems to be on my side, but actions speak louder than words, and whilst I appreciate some actions are difficult when tenancy agreements are involved, if I knew the guy had been given X amount of time I could maybe stick it out. I don't see what else the landlord can do, but don't see why he can't do that if he genuinely intends to put the guy on notice. If not, again, I must move, and move fast.
Finding a new let is both easy and hard. What I want is out there but with only minimal detail. I hate setting up appointments to see places which agents seem to see as a big favour to an as yet non-customer. Try letting a place unseen! Most agents also charge extortionate rates for admin and deposit. They'd argue that they provide service where a private landlord might not, but having experienced both I see little difference. I fell out with my last landlord because I insisted on calling her when the agency was unresponsive. This was definitely a fair move, but was met with venom. She paid the agency good money to manage the property to avoid manging it herself, so why is her tennant on the phone? I can see her point. The most obvious question might be why did she give us her number in the first place?
This post was partly about Google so let's drag it back. Having typed "Leicester Lettings" into Google, result one was a group of map pins giving local agents. This is only a recently added feature, at least in the main search, and it's cool.
BUT! Every single time I want to visit an agents website, I click on the name of the agent, and every time I wind up on a "more detail" section from Google listing individual sites under the domain, reviews, photos etc. All I wanted was the main site. For this they have a link saying "Website". I saw it before I wrongly clicked a single name. Intuitively, the human will click the name to visit the site. Counter-intuitively, Google chooses to ask me to select a different link. I have now failed to remmeber to do this seven times - click, back, "Website". Click, back, "Website", and repeat.
Google aren't as good at interfaces as fans believe. There are i'm sure benefits to Google hi-jacking these links. Not sure what though as there are no further ads on the additional page.
Imagine you live below a guy that, all signs say, hears noises/voices that aren't there. Now imagine that this guy believes you are the person making these noises. In the dead of Sunday night, which for a city is incredibly quiet around here, this guy woke me up hour after hour violently banging on his floor/my ceiling.
I'm a night pussy (not like the cat version of a night owl - i mean a coward). There's something different about my mind in the darkness of night that means a guy banging on the floor, banging that I know is wrongly directed right at me, scares the shit out of me.
From all the criminals outside I have an outer door and an inner door protecting me, but there's only one door between me and this guy, and I don't think i'd have any trouble kicking it open. As i've mentioned before, it already rattles from when the same guy kicked it last time.
I think if I had someone with me, the correct male urges (not those, the other ones) would set in and it would be about protecting her. Lying there alone knowing someone is against me and can't be reasoned with (i've tried again and again in the less pussy daytime) I find myself shitting and shaking, creeping around desparately trying not to validate his belief that i'm up to something by being visible and actually awake.
As 6am and light rolled around things started to look less terrifying. He had eventually let up somewhere around 5am and I believe I caught about an hour's sleep, but work was out of the question. Yes, this post is awesomely written but I'd be no good for VBA today.
In the night terror state I made a decision that today would mark (his name is Mark, incidentally) a turning point. Either our landlord would do something decisive to change this, or I will be the one to move.
I have at least a little sympathy for the guy. If he is schizophrenic or similar the behaviour would be somewhat understandable, however I cannot let the mental health problems of somebody I don't know influence my life so negatively in this way. This is why if push comes to shove, I'll have to go through the pain. Realistically it's the only way i'll gain control of the situation. Later today i'll hopefully know what the landlord plans. On the phone he seems to be on my side, but actions speak louder than words, and whilst I appreciate some actions are difficult when tenancy agreements are involved, if I knew the guy had been given X amount of time I could maybe stick it out. I don't see what else the landlord can do, but don't see why he can't do that if he genuinely intends to put the guy on notice. If not, again, I must move, and move fast.
Finding a new let is both easy and hard. What I want is out there but with only minimal detail. I hate setting up appointments to see places which agents seem to see as a big favour to an as yet non-customer. Try letting a place unseen! Most agents also charge extortionate rates for admin and deposit. They'd argue that they provide service where a private landlord might not, but having experienced both I see little difference. I fell out with my last landlord because I insisted on calling her when the agency was unresponsive. This was definitely a fair move, but was met with venom. She paid the agency good money to manage the property to avoid manging it herself, so why is her tennant on the phone? I can see her point. The most obvious question might be why did she give us her number in the first place?
This post was partly about Google so let's drag it back. Having typed "Leicester Lettings" into Google, result one was a group of map pins giving local agents. This is only a recently added feature, at least in the main search, and it's cool.
BUT! Every single time I want to visit an agents website, I click on the name of the agent, and every time I wind up on a "more detail" section from Google listing individual sites under the domain, reviews, photos etc. All I wanted was the main site. For this they have a link saying "Website". I saw it before I wrongly clicked a single name. Intuitively, the human will click the name to visit the site. Counter-intuitively, Google chooses to ask me to select a different link. I have now failed to remmeber to do this seven times - click, back, "Website". Click, back, "Website", and repeat.
Google aren't as good at interfaces as fans believe. There are i'm sure benefits to Google hi-jacking these links. Not sure what though as there are no further ads on the additional page.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
2008 #37 - Mind Racer
In the last week my mind has been racing around a million topics. To recall them now would take too long and as you may notice, but probably don't, I'm late yet again, and it still doesn't matter.
1. Largely eating good stuff, interspersed with a little of the bad. Asda have somehow completely stopped stocking their own brand of Tuna in sunflower oil. None in there for what is now the third week. The first week I bought Princes. It costs at least twice as much without exaggeration, and I didn't enjoy the taste. How it can differ I don't understand but it does. Feels tougher. The second week I went for pouches of tuna with dressing/seasoning. I could hardly enjoy the taste of any of the three variants I tried and I flat out couldn't take the smell. I have one left that I know I will never eat. This week I bought a tin of corned beef. As usual I tried to open it and failed, then spent 15 minutes using the wrong tools to break into a steel can, cutting myself twice. I am, however, enjoying the corned beef sandwiches. I do realise they're not as good for me as Tuna. My hope is that stocks will return soon. How can an entire line just disappear like that? I ate a little choc one day at work last week, and my Sunday overeating ritual seems to be back in full effect. Drink-wise i'm enjoying peppermint tea in place of excessive machine coffee and tea. Good on the stomach too. Damn this was supposed to be a quick one.
2. Poker. Am circling the drain as we speak, once again very glad it's not real money. No desire to play more than once a day, if that.
3. No photography in my life this week again. I did say this wouldn't be a regular occurence anymore.
4. Had a slightly different night on Saturday. Boys night out is good but when it's just two it doesn't feel quite the same. Abandoned my favorite rock club in favour of it's undeserving more popular competitor. That sucked, but being in an empty club just isn't fun. Much as i'd like to see this place succeed, it's looking less likely. This has NOTHING to do with my goal of staying in touch with my friends, which frankly could use some attention.
5. Picked up the electric a few times over the course of the week. Felt good. I have finally confirmed that my certainly nutty probably ill door kicking hopefully not going to be around forever upstairs neighbour is a better guitarist than me by quite a stretch. Not much I can do about that. We also at very least both like Rage. So the fuck what. Lots of people like Rage, and Know Your Enemy has been my favorite track for years. If he thinks otherwise, he's wrong! It's weird to think that this is probably someone I may be idealogically similar to, but unfortunately dude, if you kick and partially break my door at 1am cos you're "getting pissed off" about a burning smell which could and i'm sure was a bonfire 3 streets away, we're not going to get along. Jesus didn't I say my mind was racing. Tangent on tangent... Not really sure where to go musically at the moment. Nothing I record sounds good enough. I think I am in need of the good old fashioned three Ps... I don't really put in enough time to improve I guess.
6. Work goals will be reviewed on Friday. Woo hoo.
7. Less thought about life direction this week, and, as I said, more thoughts about everything else. The world, the downturn, the housing market, buying houses, whether buying houses is what they want me to do, whether buying houses is something I want to do, wondering how to handle a landlord that comes across as a great guy but never so far has got around to doing anything he says he'll do (including dealing with the aforementioned door kicker), worrying about tickets getting lost in post (they arrived, Less Than Jake November 10th Rock City!), being pleased that one fish and chip shop does a sensible sized portion at a reasonable price with good chips cos nowhere else does, realising now there are 32GB SDHC cards I could feasibly fit my entire music collection on my N800, rigging my N800 to record audio in case the door kicker decides he wants to have yet another insane conversation in which I am someone other than me, and i'm doing something with paint thinners and cat crap, wondering why I find it so hard to get around to watering plants when it takes so little time, wondering how much longer I can stand the current stagnation at work, wondering how I'd cope under hyperinflation and eventually a bartering system, wondering why Kwik Fit aren't interested in matching anything but their own lowest car insurance price when there are countless better offers and I tell them i'd still be interested in staying, worrying ive missed opportunities even recently to try to forge some kind of personal life, realising I have yet another grands worth of stuff I want to buy, as opposed to need to buy, thinking about wanting to move to a bigger place but not wanting to have to go through the move, wondering if these sofas will ever go out the door they came in through, wondering if i'll ever have a really good sofa, wondering if anybody can really justify needing a sofa as opposed to wanting one, wandering how things are really going in Iraq, Afganistan, Russia and tens of other places that get even less coverage, watching with bitter anger as yet another person utters the phrase "time for a woman" or "time for a black man", watching with bitter anger as seemingly rational people with opinions I respected suddenly dote on Sarah Palin as if she's anything remotely different to the rest, wondering if it's weird or wrong that i'm more aware of US politics than UK politics today, remembering sadly that the kind of freedom the US is gradually losing never existed here in the first place, and perhaps most importantly in this context, wondering what the hell I should be doing to be having a positive influence on some, many, if perhaps not quite all of these things in my life and the lives of others. Yes i'm thinking, but I got sick of thinking about work, just like I got sick of talking about it. This paragraph contains the longest sentence i've ever written, or likely will write, in my entire life.
8. Since my 23 mile bike ride, I haven't done any exercise. Once again it's apparent why people join gyms. There's no damn weather. I will try to get out on my bike this week. I must.
If you actually read 7, thanks.
1. Largely eating good stuff, interspersed with a little of the bad. Asda have somehow completely stopped stocking their own brand of Tuna in sunflower oil. None in there for what is now the third week. The first week I bought Princes. It costs at least twice as much without exaggeration, and I didn't enjoy the taste. How it can differ I don't understand but it does. Feels tougher. The second week I went for pouches of tuna with dressing/seasoning. I could hardly enjoy the taste of any of the three variants I tried and I flat out couldn't take the smell. I have one left that I know I will never eat. This week I bought a tin of corned beef. As usual I tried to open it and failed, then spent 15 minutes using the wrong tools to break into a steel can, cutting myself twice. I am, however, enjoying the corned beef sandwiches. I do realise they're not as good for me as Tuna. My hope is that stocks will return soon. How can an entire line just disappear like that? I ate a little choc one day at work last week, and my Sunday overeating ritual seems to be back in full effect. Drink-wise i'm enjoying peppermint tea in place of excessive machine coffee and tea. Good on the stomach too. Damn this was supposed to be a quick one.
2. Poker. Am circling the drain as we speak, once again very glad it's not real money. No desire to play more than once a day, if that.
3. No photography in my life this week again. I did say this wouldn't be a regular occurence anymore.
4. Had a slightly different night on Saturday. Boys night out is good but when it's just two it doesn't feel quite the same. Abandoned my favorite rock club in favour of it's undeserving more popular competitor. That sucked, but being in an empty club just isn't fun. Much as i'd like to see this place succeed, it's looking less likely. This has NOTHING to do with my goal of staying in touch with my friends, which frankly could use some attention.
5. Picked up the electric a few times over the course of the week. Felt good. I have finally confirmed that my certainly nutty probably ill door kicking hopefully not going to be around forever upstairs neighbour is a better guitarist than me by quite a stretch. Not much I can do about that. We also at very least both like Rage. So the fuck what. Lots of people like Rage, and Know Your Enemy has been my favorite track for years. If he thinks otherwise, he's wrong! It's weird to think that this is probably someone I may be idealogically similar to, but unfortunately dude, if you kick and partially break my door at 1am cos you're "getting pissed off" about a burning smell which could and i'm sure was a bonfire 3 streets away, we're not going to get along. Jesus didn't I say my mind was racing. Tangent on tangent... Not really sure where to go musically at the moment. Nothing I record sounds good enough. I think I am in need of the good old fashioned three Ps... I don't really put in enough time to improve I guess.
6. Work goals will be reviewed on Friday. Woo hoo.
7. Less thought about life direction this week, and, as I said, more thoughts about everything else. The world, the downturn, the housing market, buying houses, whether buying houses is what they want me to do, whether buying houses is something I want to do, wondering how to handle a landlord that comes across as a great guy but never so far has got around to doing anything he says he'll do (including dealing with the aforementioned door kicker), worrying about tickets getting lost in post (they arrived, Less Than Jake November 10th Rock City!), being pleased that one fish and chip shop does a sensible sized portion at a reasonable price with good chips cos nowhere else does, realising now there are 32GB SDHC cards I could feasibly fit my entire music collection on my N800, rigging my N800 to record audio in case the door kicker decides he wants to have yet another insane conversation in which I am someone other than me, and i'm doing something with paint thinners and cat crap, wondering why I find it so hard to get around to watering plants when it takes so little time, wondering how much longer I can stand the current stagnation at work, wondering how I'd cope under hyperinflation and eventually a bartering system, wondering why Kwik Fit aren't interested in matching anything but their own lowest car insurance price when there are countless better offers and I tell them i'd still be interested in staying, worrying ive missed opportunities even recently to try to forge some kind of personal life, realising I have yet another grands worth of stuff I want to buy, as opposed to need to buy, thinking about wanting to move to a bigger place but not wanting to have to go through the move, wondering if these sofas will ever go out the door they came in through, wondering if i'll ever have a really good sofa, wondering if anybody can really justify needing a sofa as opposed to wanting one, wandering how things are really going in Iraq, Afganistan, Russia and tens of other places that get even less coverage, watching with bitter anger as yet another person utters the phrase "time for a woman" or "time for a black man", watching with bitter anger as seemingly rational people with opinions I respected suddenly dote on Sarah Palin as if she's anything remotely different to the rest, wondering if it's weird or wrong that i'm more aware of US politics than UK politics today, remembering sadly that the kind of freedom the US is gradually losing never existed here in the first place, and perhaps most importantly in this context, wondering what the hell I should be doing to be having a positive influence on some, many, if perhaps not quite all of these things in my life and the lives of others. Yes i'm thinking, but I got sick of thinking about work, just like I got sick of talking about it. This paragraph contains the longest sentence i've ever written, or likely will write, in my entire life.
8. Since my 23 mile bike ride, I haven't done any exercise. Once again it's apparent why people join gyms. There's no damn weather. I will try to get out on my bike this week. I must.
If you actually read 7, thanks.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
2008 #36 - 23 miles around
Yeah i'm a day late again. It doesn't matter!
Last Wednesday I finally returned to Rutland Water and cycled the entire circuit of 23 miles including Peninsula. Not having done this since 2002 I wasn't sure how hard I was going to find it. The answer was - hard. But not too hard. It gave me a headache even though I hydrated myself well throughout. That's more about the angle of the neck when leaning down holding handlebars whilst looking up. It's what you're supposed to do, but for me at least, it hurts. Every chance I get I let go of the handlebars and sit up straight. People i'm sure think i'm posing at how good I am at riding with no hands (and I am awesome) but it's more a comfort break. I'll say right now this is the only exercise I did this week, so don't expect number 8 to be anything special, however 23 miles easily tops three of whatever I would normally be doing, so i'll count it. In fact maybe i'll call that recapped and count backwards from 7.
7. I have a glimmer in my mind, a glow of happiness I am getting from playing around with web technologies, and weirdly, Photoshop. Much like the guitar, I installed and gave up using Photoshop about 3 times before, reverting to Paint Shop Pro. I always liked PSP as a basic editor, then it hit a sprint in version 5 when it introduced layers and became viable for serious web work, which at the time I was very interested in. As the years pass PSP has got a lot more complicated and harder to use, though I have managed to keep up with how to do what I used to do in there. The result here is that now when I try to use Photoshop it seems much easier. It's still better, and probably always will be, but now I think I can use it, and it's fun! Ability to use this package having always illuded me before, I'd like to try to build some skill here. My day job is still boring me and the commute is a grind again. We are somewhat awaiting a reorg announcement that should determine what the future plan for our team is. Best case scenarios that we all dreamt up before aren't looking that likely now, so I think I have to assume what I have now is what will remain. Unfortunately that doesn't fit me.
6. Would you believe I now have an email setting out my goals and targets for 2008-9. I still need to have a discussion with my manager about them, but finally some team direction, something that has felt a little lacking lately. Of course with the previous point on reorgs in mind, still very little certainty. Once i've reviewed them i'll start talking about sticking to them.
5. Tried to get back into the studio stuff last night but my Ableton installation broke when AVG detected a trojan in a related file. Teach me to use.. yeah. Anyway nothing new recorded but I have been putting in a bit of time. Not as much as I said I would though.
4. Reasonable night out on Saturday this week, though ended up third wheel with a couple I don't know that well to begin with. When, however, the plan was originally to go alone, going with people must be better. Facebook is good for touching base with people regularly, but it still feels "unreal" to me. Almost as if without the effort of making contact it's a throwaway comment here or there. In response to my own opinion I try to write more to others on there, and get frustrated when I still get the one line responses back.
3. No photography this time.
2. Raised myself with a few wins back into the 35k region and decided to apply the 1/3 backroll rule and play another 10k. For some reason after my insane success with these last month i'm getting killed in them every time. True poker style lets dissect my bad beat. A5 of hearts from early position with 2/3 stack remaining. Mid-sized blinds. Called and flopped two more hearts. Weary from beats I now thoroughly expect to throw another 2-3 times the chips trying to draw out another heart that never shows for the nut flush. My worries were misfounded. Heart on the turn, I have the nut flush and people raising ahead of me. Even better, everybody calls my raise. Wondering what they could be calling I check the board carefully for any pairing I may have missed. Been caught there a few times, but no! No pairing on the board, and the river keeps things that way. The river in fact was yet another heart, but hey, I have the ace. What can go wrong. I will now mention that along with my A5 holding, the hearts on board were 9, 10 and Q. All in with three other players, two of which who were just idiots in the pot, my supposed nut flush was cracked KJ of hearts giving the guy a straight flush. Never before have I been quite this unlucky! The really sickening part is that he was right to call, and right to raise. Odds wise until the river his hand was probably solid. After the river in normal circumstances he'd be fearing the lone Ace, but of course by then he knew what he had, though of course he was only playing for what I was, not what he ended up lucking out on. I couldn't have made him fold, and I couldn't fold. Odds-wise, why the hell would I? I admit, I didn't consider the straight flush when I pushed, but what difference does it make? He would have pushed had I not, and I'd have been nuts to fold. No win situation there if you ask me, though I guess when this rare hand shows itself it's at least sometimes going to crack flushes to ace, probably in just this way. This all happened in about 30 seconds. It was the end of the one game I played today. I really do stick to this rule.
1. I was very good last week, food-wise. I feel I made no mis-steps at all, skipped Saturday meal before going out (my new rule for another reason) intending to have a takeaway late night. Didn't feel like it, so didn't. This(next) week won't be as great because i've ended up with a mass of egg pasta that I must get through in two sittings.
Doing this in reverse felt about the same as doing it the normal way. I also didn't use the lyrical style for some reason. Weird. C-ya'll.
Last Wednesday I finally returned to Rutland Water and cycled the entire circuit of 23 miles including Peninsula. Not having done this since 2002 I wasn't sure how hard I was going to find it. The answer was - hard. But not too hard. It gave me a headache even though I hydrated myself well throughout. That's more about the angle of the neck when leaning down holding handlebars whilst looking up. It's what you're supposed to do, but for me at least, it hurts. Every chance I get I let go of the handlebars and sit up straight. People i'm sure think i'm posing at how good I am at riding with no hands (and I am awesome) but it's more a comfort break. I'll say right now this is the only exercise I did this week, so don't expect number 8 to be anything special, however 23 miles easily tops three of whatever I would normally be doing, so i'll count it. In fact maybe i'll call that recapped and count backwards from 7.
7. I have a glimmer in my mind, a glow of happiness I am getting from playing around with web technologies, and weirdly, Photoshop. Much like the guitar, I installed and gave up using Photoshop about 3 times before, reverting to Paint Shop Pro. I always liked PSP as a basic editor, then it hit a sprint in version 5 when it introduced layers and became viable for serious web work, which at the time I was very interested in. As the years pass PSP has got a lot more complicated and harder to use, though I have managed to keep up with how to do what I used to do in there. The result here is that now when I try to use Photoshop it seems much easier. It's still better, and probably always will be, but now I think I can use it, and it's fun! Ability to use this package having always illuded me before, I'd like to try to build some skill here. My day job is still boring me and the commute is a grind again. We are somewhat awaiting a reorg announcement that should determine what the future plan for our team is. Best case scenarios that we all dreamt up before aren't looking that likely now, so I think I have to assume what I have now is what will remain. Unfortunately that doesn't fit me.
6. Would you believe I now have an email setting out my goals and targets for 2008-9. I still need to have a discussion with my manager about them, but finally some team direction, something that has felt a little lacking lately. Of course with the previous point on reorgs in mind, still very little certainty. Once i've reviewed them i'll start talking about sticking to them.
5. Tried to get back into the studio stuff last night but my Ableton installation broke when AVG detected a trojan in a related file. Teach me to use.. yeah. Anyway nothing new recorded but I have been putting in a bit of time. Not as much as I said I would though.
4. Reasonable night out on Saturday this week, though ended up third wheel with a couple I don't know that well to begin with. When, however, the plan was originally to go alone, going with people must be better. Facebook is good for touching base with people regularly, but it still feels "unreal" to me. Almost as if without the effort of making contact it's a throwaway comment here or there. In response to my own opinion I try to write more to others on there, and get frustrated when I still get the one line responses back.
3. No photography this time.
2. Raised myself with a few wins back into the 35k region and decided to apply the 1/3 backroll rule and play another 10k. For some reason after my insane success with these last month i'm getting killed in them every time. True poker style lets dissect my bad beat. A5 of hearts from early position with 2/3 stack remaining. Mid-sized blinds. Called and flopped two more hearts. Weary from beats I now thoroughly expect to throw another 2-3 times the chips trying to draw out another heart that never shows for the nut flush. My worries were misfounded. Heart on the turn, I have the nut flush and people raising ahead of me. Even better, everybody calls my raise. Wondering what they could be calling I check the board carefully for any pairing I may have missed. Been caught there a few times, but no! No pairing on the board, and the river keeps things that way. The river in fact was yet another heart, but hey, I have the ace. What can go wrong. I will now mention that along with my A5 holding, the hearts on board were 9, 10 and Q. All in with three other players, two of which who were just idiots in the pot, my supposed nut flush was cracked KJ of hearts giving the guy a straight flush. Never before have I been quite this unlucky! The really sickening part is that he was right to call, and right to raise. Odds wise until the river his hand was probably solid. After the river in normal circumstances he'd be fearing the lone Ace, but of course by then he knew what he had, though of course he was only playing for what I was, not what he ended up lucking out on. I couldn't have made him fold, and I couldn't fold. Odds-wise, why the hell would I? I admit, I didn't consider the straight flush when I pushed, but what difference does it make? He would have pushed had I not, and I'd have been nuts to fold. No win situation there if you ask me, though I guess when this rare hand shows itself it's at least sometimes going to crack flushes to ace, probably in just this way. This all happened in about 30 seconds. It was the end of the one game I played today. I really do stick to this rule.
1. I was very good last week, food-wise. I feel I made no mis-steps at all, skipped Saturday meal before going out (my new rule for another reason) intending to have a takeaway late night. Didn't feel like it, so didn't. This(next) week won't be as great because i've ended up with a mass of egg pasta that I must get through in two sittings.
Doing this in reverse felt about the same as doing it the normal way. I also didn't use the lyrical style for some reason. Weird. C-ya'll.
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