2008 #37 - Mind Racer

In the last week my mind has been racing around a million topics. To recall them now would take too long and as you may notice, but probably don't, I'm late yet again, and it still doesn't matter.

1. Largely eating good stuff, interspersed with a little of the bad. Asda have somehow completely stopped stocking their own brand of Tuna in sunflower oil. None in there for what is now the third week. The first week I bought Princes. It costs at least twice as much without exaggeration, and I didn't enjoy the taste. How it can differ I don't understand but it does. Feels tougher. The second week I went for pouches of tuna with dressing/seasoning. I could hardly enjoy the taste of any of the three variants I tried and I flat out couldn't take the smell. I have one left that I know I will never eat. This week I bought a tin of corned beef. As usual I tried to open it and failed, then spent 15 minutes using the wrong tools to break into a steel can, cutting myself twice. I am, however, enjoying the corned beef sandwiches. I do realise they're not as good for me as Tuna. My hope is that stocks will return soon. How can an entire line just disappear like that? I ate a little choc one day at work last week, and my Sunday overeating ritual seems to be back in full effect. Drink-wise i'm enjoying peppermint tea in place of excessive machine coffee and tea. Good on the stomach too. Damn this was supposed to be a quick one.

2. Poker. Am circling the drain as we speak, once again very glad it's not real money. No desire to play more than once a day, if that.

3. No photography in my life this week again. I did say this wouldn't be a regular occurence anymore.

4. Had a slightly different night on Saturday. Boys night out is good but when it's just two it doesn't feel quite the same. Abandoned my favorite rock club in favour of it's undeserving more popular competitor. That sucked, but being in an empty club just isn't fun. Much as i'd like to see this place succeed, it's looking less likely. This has NOTHING to do with my goal of staying in touch with my friends, which frankly could use some attention.

5. Picked up the electric a few times over the course of the week. Felt good. I have finally confirmed that my certainly nutty probably ill door kicking hopefully not going to be around forever upstairs neighbour is a better guitarist than me by quite a stretch. Not much I can do about that. We also at very least both like Rage. So the fuck what. Lots of people like Rage, and Know Your Enemy has been my favorite track for years. If he thinks otherwise, he's wrong! It's weird to think that this is probably someone I may be idealogically similar to, but unfortunately dude, if you kick and partially break my door at 1am cos you're "getting pissed off" about a burning smell which could and i'm sure was a bonfire 3 streets away, we're not going to get along. Jesus didn't I say my mind was racing. Tangent on tangent... Not really sure where to go musically at the moment. Nothing I record sounds good enough. I think I am in need of the good old fashioned three Ps... I don't really put in enough time to improve I guess.

6. Work goals will be reviewed on Friday. Woo hoo.

7. Less thought about life direction this week, and, as I said, more thoughts about everything else. The world, the downturn, the housing market, buying houses, whether buying houses is what they want me to do, whether buying houses is something I want to do, wondering how to handle a landlord that comes across as a great guy but never so far has got around to doing anything he says he'll do (including dealing with the aforementioned door kicker), worrying about tickets getting lost in post (they arrived, Less Than Jake November 10th Rock City!), being pleased that one fish and chip shop does a sensible sized portion at a reasonable price with good chips cos nowhere else does, realising now there are 32GB SDHC cards I could feasibly fit my entire music collection on my N800, rigging my N800 to record audio in case the door kicker decides he wants to have yet another insane conversation in which I am someone other than me, and i'm doing something with paint thinners and cat crap, wondering why I find it so hard to get around to watering plants when it takes so little time, wondering how much longer I can stand the current stagnation at work, wondering how I'd cope under hyperinflation and eventually a bartering system, wondering why Kwik Fit aren't interested in matching anything but their own lowest car insurance price when there are countless better offers and I tell them i'd still be interested in staying, worrying ive missed opportunities even recently to try to forge some kind of personal life, realising I have yet another grands worth of stuff I want to buy, as opposed to need to buy, thinking about wanting to move to a bigger place but not wanting to have to go through the move, wondering if these sofas will ever go out the door they came in through, wondering if i'll ever have a really good sofa, wondering if anybody can really justify needing a sofa as opposed to wanting one, wandering how things are really going in Iraq, Afganistan, Russia and tens of other places that get even less coverage, watching with bitter anger as yet another person utters the phrase "time for a woman" or "time for a black man", watching with bitter anger as seemingly rational people with opinions I respected suddenly dote on Sarah Palin as if she's anything remotely different to the rest, wondering if it's weird or wrong that i'm more aware of US politics than UK politics today, remembering sadly that the kind of freedom the US is gradually losing never existed here in the first place, and perhaps most importantly in this context, wondering what the hell I should be doing to be having a positive influence on some, many, if perhaps not quite all of these things in my life and the lives of others. Yes i'm thinking, but I got sick of thinking about work, just like I got sick of talking about it. This paragraph contains the longest sentence i've ever written, or likely will write, in my entire life.

8. Since my 23 mile bike ride, I haven't done any exercise. Once again it's apparent why people join gyms. There's no damn weather. I will try to get out on my bike this week. I must.

If you actually read 7, thanks.