Competitive Nature

Okay last one was too long. Faster.

Am I competitive? I thought not overly but I lost bad at Laser Tag last night and I have a burning desire to understand why I finished deep into the negative scoring.

Why should I care? I shouldn't. I bowled a good game an hour earlier.

I think I just suck at things with guns.

But yes, I am competitive. People at work that started after me and even worked for me briefly are now starting to rise to the levels above me and as much as I can be genuinely happy for them and feel it's deserved, I find myself burnt up about it despite telling myself I didn't want to go where they're going.

I probably still don't, and that's the point. Should I follow the competitive nature and hope it indeed leads to advancement? I'm almost certain that if I set myself a goal and worked at it I could get myself a few levels higher at work in not too long a time frame, but apart from wanting a bit more money, and at this stage a bit is all it really amounts to, what's the point?

I'll leave it there for fear of this becoming the last post. One more to do.