As I think I mentioned, Im transforming my home into somewhere I enjoy spending time more. Perhaps even somewhere other people won't dislike visiting. Nobody has ever said they felt this way, but certainly until this week it wasn't very welcoming. Too baron.
At work i'm part of Transformation, with a capital T. That's what it's called. My job doesn't actually have anything to do with it, it's just the name of the programme my team has been sitting under for a while. Under this programme we get to watch as they restructure the whole thing every couple of months at various levels. Tomorrow they will tell us how they're going to restructure the "workstream" I sit under. My expectation is that the manager 3 levels above me will announce he's moving to head up another workstream, and that the team of 6 I sit in will be looking to lose 2 people. I have some level of confidence that I'd be one of the last 2-3 people standing in a face off (much as I like and respect my immediate colleagues - all five), and nobody in a company this size is ever made redundant in the traditional sense of the word, so I'm not worried. I mainly mention it because I'm looking forward to the meeting. For some reason I like watching those on the corporate borderline shifting things around what seems like far too often, but that's if it's taken at face value, which it certainly shouldn't be. There's always a real reason, and it's always money, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's weirdly interesting to watch.
Why mention that? Just that I'm not dreading going back to work tomorrow. I even have my annual review, and my evidence is pretty much ready!
Easy
1. I did buy a machine snack once last week. There was a sort of excuse but it was weak. Will try harder this week. Portion curbing is going really well. I have at least 2 extra meals worth of food each week, and my weight which was worrying me has fallen back in just a few weeks. I'm almost ready to make a weight related goal, but I wonder if I have a minimum threshold at this point, as I haven't dropped much below 12 stone in the last 3-4 years whether in exercise mode or not, and 12 stone isn't actually overweight for my height.
3. I did go somewhere I hadn't been before on Saturday night, but only one person I actually knew was present. I'm not pointing my camera at strangers.
4. Good weekend, plus made some plans to see older friends in a few weeks. Have noticed that my fear of rejection (waa waa waa) is so bad that it prevents me from asking friends to do something because I assume I'm going to be told they have something better to do. This is pretty bad and no question I just need to get over it and do it anyway. Goals and self-therapy!
Challenging
1. Ideas forming for a May song. Plenty of time.
2. Review tomorrow. Pretty much consumed the days I was in work last week.
3. Still not thinking so much about it. Definitely happier. Beginning to think the general population may have a point. The cycle is becoming clearer - happy enough at work, happy denial, wanna better job, wannabe entrepreneur, coastal campervan then back around. If I'm lucky I'll hit coastal campervan around July time so I'm in the right mood for a trip to the coast.
4. Fanfare! Finally did it. Tuesday I swam, Friday I lifted and today I cycled. The swim sucked because a short staffed Braunstone Leisure Centre decided they had to halve the pool, meaning no lanes and swimming widths. They then proceed to open both sides of the divide, meaning the staff cover exactly the same amount of water had they just opened it up as normal. Nuts. Here's hoping it was a one time thing. My weight lifting stamina is also far lower than it used to be. I'm not even lasting long enough to get bored two sessions in. I feel sure this will improve though, so I'm not worried.
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