Nothing as profound as it might sound to be found here.
I almost didn't go for my swim this week. I had arrived home later than usual, eaten even later and felt tired.
It was however, the best swim I've ever managed. I had a lane to myself for over 30 lengths. Technique was winning through and it just felt faster. I'm still not fast at all, but as a casual swimmer in it for the exercise it's more about endurance. Last week I did the mile non-stop. My body was done. This week, I saw no need to stop. I did anyway. As explained some time back, swimming for too long gets boring and puts me off doing it at all. 64 lengths took 48 minutes. A little will be due to the way I turn (cramp avoidance means I don't really push off, so I am having to build fresh momentum every length), but overall it's not even an average time and that doesn't matter. I just enjoyed it a lot more. It's becoming easier, and my muscles are much more willing to respond than they were a few months back.
What would I have gained from not swimming? An hour and half's leisure time. What did I gain from going? Feelin' good.
The next day I crashed completely throughout the work day, leading to two days off work sick. Did it have anything to do with the swim? I don't think so. Just an office bug.
The last bit's irrelevant. The point being, what was the barrier to going for a swim? Willpower? Willing? Reason? Perhaps the lack of all that and more. Must remember to focus on the reasons behind the goal when trying to talk myself out of doing something.
SO, i'm rewriting the manifesto to explain the reasons behind each goal. I'm also removing the easy/hard split. The mind does some weird trade-offs based on that split which i'd rather lose.
The 2008 Manifesto
1. I will stick to my weekday food and drink ethic as set out previously plus consider the portion size of every meal, cutting back where necessary. Why? Long term I want to be in good health, and short to long term I want to weigh at best less, but certainly not more than I do now.
2. I will stick to wasting less weekday time playing fake poker. Why? Because time is precious and as much value as I place in entertainment, too much of one type of entertainment should be avoided.
3. I will take my camera with me whenever I go, or feel i'm likely to go, somewhere i've never been before but only on a night out if there are more than two people involved. Why? So I have some kind of record of where I've been and the people I've known, liked and loved.
4. I will stay in touch with my friends weekly and start trying to initiate some weeknight activities. Why? Because spending any extended period of time alone is a terrible idea, and the more you initiate, the less likely that is to happen.
5. I will continue to write a song each month and make up for missing one in March by writing an extra song before the end of the year. Why? Because some of the best times I've had in the last few years were band/music related, and lack of natural talent doesn't mean I have no ability. What I have, I want to keep using, at very least so as not to lose it.
6. I will continue to work towards my set work goals. Why? Because all career uncertainty aside, if I'm doing something, I'd rather be doing it well, plus it's the only way I will continue to advance in my current career.
7. I will continue to rethink my career inside and outside my current role weekly. Why? Because in the last year or two I have enjoyed my work less, feel I should be doing something more meaningful to me and others, and don't want to find myself still doing exactly the same thing in five years time.
8. I will find the time to manage a 3 times a week exercise schedule. Why? Much like the eating, it's about long term health gains and short term physical gain. Lose a little weight. Tone up a bit.
This week...
1. Doing fine on food and drink. A little off kilter due to the sick days perhaps, but all in all reasonably restrained. I did eat a fry up brunch last Sunday. That was a strict one-off last meal before my guests left, and I have no desire to completely forget what good fried food tastes like.
2. I played some extra poker whilst I was sick. Why not? It's not a time for getting things done. No foul.
3. Not been anywhere of note this week, or with enough people to take a camera. I've barely left the house in the last few days since I got sick.
4. Did manage to catch up with a few semi-distant friends this weekend, despite the illness. Goal ok.
5. I mentioned last week that I was thinking of revising this goal. I still am. I have 6 days left to come up with a song idea for May, but I also have loads of other stuff I want to do musically involving what I already have. It doesn't make sense to prioritise the former over the latter. Will make a decision on this next week.
6. Still awaiting new work goals. Maybe this week?
7. Whilst it's always on my mind, I can't say i've done much towards career clarification this week. It is about time to start thinking more about this again.
8. After a few very good weeks exercise takes a fall. All I have done is swim this week. I'm not a big fan of exercising when not fully recovered from sickness. It tends to set me back. There is a good chance I won't swim tomorrow for this reason, so next week is also a potential risk, although next reasonably weathered day I will certainly get out on the bike. Today is amazingly windy in the UK.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Cycles and Burnout
I'm forming a theory.
I actually formed it many weeks ago but didn't post it because I couldn't quite get it to make enough sense. The problem is I wrote it to hang on the concept of cycles, when in fact what I describe is far more the concept of 1+2=3. Rather than edit it and risk it losing it's original point, i'll leave it as it is, with this paragraph as a caveat - it doesn't make perfect sense, but it makes a point.
A feeling of dissatisfaction with life doesn't reach big crunches. It ebbs and flows in cycles. The closest to crunch is the burnout, but the burnout tends to be manageable with just a few weeks of variation to provide a new feeling of worth, either in self or surroundings.
This, people, is why people like me, and many, many other people talk a lot about change don't make changes. Many speak of talkers and doers, berating the talker and promoting the doer. This is too simplistic, and yet, it was depressing watching an old Office episode earlier this week to hear a well though out argument about dice. Having first rolled a 3, in playing again, one could roll a 6, but could also roll a 1. Leave the dice alone. This is presented dead pan in comedy, and the intended reaction to this is a feeling of superiority, but this is fear of failure boiled down almost perfectly.
The cycles occur due to balance and inbalance. This sounds almost matrix-like, but hear it out. Fear of failure regulates crunch. Other factors in life drive the cycles. Career, relationships, social life, recreation and i'm sure more are in the mix. I can't tell you how the people with a good record in all areas feel, having never been there. What I do believe is that one on the up will mitigate dissatisfaction with the others.
Who cares how much work sucks when you're enjoying yourself so much?
Who cares if you have no friends if you love your work so much?
Who cares about relationships when they've got good friends?
Who cares about friends, when they've got a good relationship?
Any two, and you can probably be reasonably well balanced. Some people manage 2 a lot of the time. A stunning number of people manage 3. A lot of these people don't think half as much as i'm thinking right now, but they do think they're happy. I'm not going to try to convince them they're not, nor am I remotely convinced that they're not.
With an average of 3 you may dip into 2 territory sometimes, but the 2 remaining will usually keep you afloat long enough to get back to 3. With an average of 2 though, dipping into 1 territory is quite possible.
Once down at 1, it's burnout. The 1 thing that's working is being dragged down by the other things that aren't. You hit a wall. Something has to change. There has to be more than this. Suddenly the thing that was going well seems insignificant.
One good night out later (for example), suddenly nothing seems as bad. Somehow a good night out has convinced you that the other thing that you burnt out on a few days ago isn't actually as bad as you thought it was.
Unfortunately, the two things aren't related. The other thing was as bad as you thought it was, but you've managed to avoid the difficult bit.
Congratulations. Welcome to the beginning of the cycle.
I actually formed it many weeks ago but didn't post it because I couldn't quite get it to make enough sense. The problem is I wrote it to hang on the concept of cycles, when in fact what I describe is far more the concept of 1+2=3. Rather than edit it and risk it losing it's original point, i'll leave it as it is, with this paragraph as a caveat - it doesn't make perfect sense, but it makes a point.
A feeling of dissatisfaction with life doesn't reach big crunches. It ebbs and flows in cycles. The closest to crunch is the burnout, but the burnout tends to be manageable with just a few weeks of variation to provide a new feeling of worth, either in self or surroundings.
This, people, is why people like me, and many, many other people talk a lot about change don't make changes. Many speak of talkers and doers, berating the talker and promoting the doer. This is too simplistic, and yet, it was depressing watching an old Office episode earlier this week to hear a well though out argument about dice. Having first rolled a 3, in playing again, one could roll a 6, but could also roll a 1. Leave the dice alone. This is presented dead pan in comedy, and the intended reaction to this is a feeling of superiority, but this is fear of failure boiled down almost perfectly.
The cycles occur due to balance and inbalance. This sounds almost matrix-like, but hear it out. Fear of failure regulates crunch. Other factors in life drive the cycles. Career, relationships, social life, recreation and i'm sure more are in the mix. I can't tell you how the people with a good record in all areas feel, having never been there. What I do believe is that one on the up will mitigate dissatisfaction with the others.
Who cares how much work sucks when you're enjoying yourself so much?
Who cares if you have no friends if you love your work so much?
Who cares about relationships when they've got good friends?
Who cares about friends, when they've got a good relationship?
Any two, and you can probably be reasonably well balanced. Some people manage 2 a lot of the time. A stunning number of people manage 3. A lot of these people don't think half as much as i'm thinking right now, but they do think they're happy. I'm not going to try to convince them they're not, nor am I remotely convinced that they're not.
With an average of 3 you may dip into 2 territory sometimes, but the 2 remaining will usually keep you afloat long enough to get back to 3. With an average of 2 though, dipping into 1 territory is quite possible.
Once down at 1, it's burnout. The 1 thing that's working is being dragged down by the other things that aren't. You hit a wall. Something has to change. There has to be more than this. Suddenly the thing that was going well seems insignificant.
One good night out later (for example), suddenly nothing seems as bad. Somehow a good night out has convinced you that the other thing that you burnt out on a few days ago isn't actually as bad as you thought it was.
Unfortunately, the two things aren't related. The other thing was as bad as you thought it was, but you've managed to avoid the difficult bit.
Congratulations. Welcome to the beginning of the cycle.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Ubuntu and VNC.. well.. Linux and Anything actually.
In all my years playing around with computers, I have given up many times on many difficult things. Usually I eventually figure it out. I haven't figured this one out yet, and I just gave up.
Nothing before has ever frustrated me as much as trying to get VNC working the way I want it to work with Ubuntu.
There is no problem getting VNC control over an existing X session. Piece of piss. This is useless. I want to login using VNC. Ideally I don't even want this box to be a sit down computer with a screen and keyboard anymore.
There are instructions detailing how to do so much in Linux all over the Internet, but they're all as bad as each other. Just the fact that every tutorial writer insists on inflicting their choice of text editor on their instructions is a red flag for trouble. If I'm writing a tutorial, I will assume you know how to edit text files rather than risking confusing somebody perfectly happy with emacs by throwing in words like vim. Frankly to send the uninitiated into any Linux text editor they haven't used before and then not give them further guidance is a big "fuck you". There isn't one unpretentious Linux text editor that i've ever been shown.
The frustrating thing is not that following one route fails, but that following one route after another route after another route all leads to failure. Half the time applications don't return the responses the tutorials insist they will. Other tutorials will completely forget to mention you might need to install some other packages before starting. By the time I was testing the first aborted attempt I didn't even have an Xvnc binary of any kind present! I literally hadn't installed the actual software, and the tutorial didn't tell me to!
For some reason it's far easier to find answers on closed source software than it is to find answers on open source software. Why? Just elitism I'm quite sure. If I can't figure this out I don't deserve to be using it. Go back to Windows little boy. In 3 years of spending significant portions of time in Excel/VBA i've never once failed to find a working solution to a problem.
Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love the fact that there is so much great free (as in beer and speech) software out there, but the community surrounding it is counter intuitive for users anywhere from newbie to tech savvy. Only the top 10% can use these tutorials, and chances are they don't need them anyway.
And, to cap it all off, somebody almost always insists that the best solution to a problem is to switch to the rival. Listen arsehole! There may be a rival. It may be great. It may be much better than what i'm trying to use, but at the end of the day, the software i'm trying to use doesn't just exist and not work, and all I asked was how to get it working! I'm not looking to start over at this point!
Okay now that I've got that out of my system i'm going to give it another go. Linux sucks.
Nothing before has ever frustrated me as much as trying to get VNC working the way I want it to work with Ubuntu.
There is no problem getting VNC control over an existing X session. Piece of piss. This is useless. I want to login using VNC. Ideally I don't even want this box to be a sit down computer with a screen and keyboard anymore.
There are instructions detailing how to do so much in Linux all over the Internet, but they're all as bad as each other. Just the fact that every tutorial writer insists on inflicting their choice of text editor on their instructions is a red flag for trouble. If I'm writing a tutorial, I will assume you know how to edit text files rather than risking confusing somebody perfectly happy with emacs by throwing in words like vim. Frankly to send the uninitiated into any Linux text editor they haven't used before and then not give them further guidance is a big "fuck you". There isn't one unpretentious Linux text editor that i've ever been shown.
The frustrating thing is not that following one route fails, but that following one route after another route after another route all leads to failure. Half the time applications don't return the responses the tutorials insist they will. Other tutorials will completely forget to mention you might need to install some other packages before starting. By the time I was testing the first aborted attempt I didn't even have an Xvnc binary of any kind present! I literally hadn't installed the actual software, and the tutorial didn't tell me to!
For some reason it's far easier to find answers on closed source software than it is to find answers on open source software. Why? Just elitism I'm quite sure. If I can't figure this out I don't deserve to be using it. Go back to Windows little boy. In 3 years of spending significant portions of time in Excel/VBA i've never once failed to find a working solution to a problem.
Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love the fact that there is so much great free (as in beer and speech) software out there, but the community surrounding it is counter intuitive for users anywhere from newbie to tech savvy. Only the top 10% can use these tutorials, and chances are they don't need them anyway.
And, to cap it all off, somebody almost always insists that the best solution to a problem is to switch to the rival. Listen arsehole! There may be a rival. It may be great. It may be much better than what i'm trying to use, but at the end of the day, the software i'm trying to use doesn't just exist and not work, and all I asked was how to get it working! I'm not looking to start over at this point!
Okay now that I've got that out of my system i'm going to give it another go. Linux sucks.
The Vista Dilemma
I was very positive about Vista when I first started using it. After a month, let us revisit the topic.
I still like the interface. Aero is a slick look.
I still like the intuitive Computer/Network access points.
I still like the explorer icons in their various sizes.
I still like how quickly it boots.
I still like how quickly it resumes after standby.
I still like the speech recognition, although it's far from perfect.
The problem is this. In the past whenever I've upgraded to a newer, faster machine, I've been blown away by it's performance. I never got the chance to feel that way about this machine, and the only logical explanation for this is Vista being a resource hungry hog. This is certainly the chief complaint amongst detractors.
I feel certain that XP or Ubuntu would fly on this machine. The dilemma is whether to abandon Vista to realise the true performance of my brand new laptop, or accept it. I haven't made a decision on this yet.
I could once again dual boot, but to which alternative (I don't have a legal XP to install, naturally). I also don't like partitioning hard drives. Always feel like this time it'll go badly wrong and break everything. It never actually has. If anything it always goes too smoothly.
So, yeah, the only conclusion in this post, Vista is the hot girl. She's expensive. XP is the girl next door. I guess Ubuntu is the girl giving it away for free all over town. This metaphor fell apart.
I still like the interface. Aero is a slick look.
I still like the intuitive Computer/Network access points.
I still like the explorer icons in their various sizes.
I still like how quickly it boots.
I still like how quickly it resumes after standby.
I still like the speech recognition, although it's far from perfect.
The problem is this. In the past whenever I've upgraded to a newer, faster machine, I've been blown away by it's performance. I never got the chance to feel that way about this machine, and the only logical explanation for this is Vista being a resource hungry hog. This is certainly the chief complaint amongst detractors.
I feel certain that XP or Ubuntu would fly on this machine. The dilemma is whether to abandon Vista to realise the true performance of my brand new laptop, or accept it. I haven't made a decision on this yet.
I could once again dual boot, but to which alternative (I don't have a legal XP to install, naturally). I also don't like partitioning hard drives. Always feel like this time it'll go badly wrong and break everything. It never actually has. If anything it always goes too smoothly.
So, yeah, the only conclusion in this post, Vista is the hot girl. She's expensive. XP is the girl next door. I guess Ubuntu is the girl giving it away for free all over town. This metaphor fell apart.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Fucking HDMI Cables!
Sick at home today (genuinely, even though I did go out last night) I finally ordered my new TV from the comfort of my bed. I'll perhaps talk about that when I get it rather than now.
Afterwards, I went looking for a HDMI cable with a good price to quality ratio. In the time it's taken me to really be no clearer I could have earned the money to buy a mid priced cable quite comfortably.
The problem here, and this applies to a lot of technologies - knowitallism.
There are a myriad of idiots who are obsessed with explaining that because the signal is digital, the cable quality is irrelevant. It's just 0's and 1's, and they either get there or they don't. All or nothing. Everyone understands digital because somebody explained 0's and 1's at the height of the digital TV launch. They didn't actually understand how the analogue that came before it worked of course, but they're happy to be an authority on the differences.
They nail the entire point without understanding it. Yes, it is 0's and 1's, and sometimes 0's and 1's don't get there. Sometimes they get interfered with on the way. Sometimes the bit pattern changes enough to knock the whole video stream off, and sometimes just enough to distort the video or audio.
An interference laden digital stream is far less usable than the equivalently interfered analogue signal. Anybody trying to watch Sky during just the right type of rainstorm knows this.
My parents have been happily watching below par analogue TV signals at their house for 15 years. With their current aerial, they would have no chance of picking up a digital terrestrial TV signal.
Back to the point - the difference between cables that do the job is not be that important. A cheap cable of reasonable quality that delivers the bitstream flawlessly will deliver audio and video no differently to an expensive one of higher quality, but buying a really cheap cable with poor shielding, it's signal being distorted by the 10 or so other wires currently behind my TV, may actually not be a great idea.
I would say half the sites and cable reviews I read didn't understand this as well as I'm confident I already do, so why are they putting up this information, and why are they writing as if they're an authority?
I can see why some people just say "fuck it" and spend the money on the first thing they see.
Afterwards, I went looking for a HDMI cable with a good price to quality ratio. In the time it's taken me to really be no clearer I could have earned the money to buy a mid priced cable quite comfortably.
The problem here, and this applies to a lot of technologies - knowitallism.
There are a myriad of idiots who are obsessed with explaining that because the signal is digital, the cable quality is irrelevant. It's just 0's and 1's, and they either get there or they don't. All or nothing. Everyone understands digital because somebody explained 0's and 1's at the height of the digital TV launch. They didn't actually understand how the analogue that came before it worked of course, but they're happy to be an authority on the differences.
They nail the entire point without understanding it. Yes, it is 0's and 1's, and sometimes 0's and 1's don't get there. Sometimes they get interfered with on the way. Sometimes the bit pattern changes enough to knock the whole video stream off, and sometimes just enough to distort the video or audio.
An interference laden digital stream is far less usable than the equivalently interfered analogue signal. Anybody trying to watch Sky during just the right type of rainstorm knows this.
My parents have been happily watching below par analogue TV signals at their house for 15 years. With their current aerial, they would have no chance of picking up a digital terrestrial TV signal.
Back to the point - the difference between cables that do the job is not be that important. A cheap cable of reasonable quality that delivers the bitstream flawlessly will deliver audio and video no differently to an expensive one of higher quality, but buying a really cheap cable with poor shielding, it's signal being distorted by the 10 or so other wires currently behind my TV, may actually not be a great idea.
I would say half the sites and cable reviews I read didn't understand this as well as I'm confident I already do, so why are they putting up this information, and why are they writing as if they're an authority?
I can see why some people just say "fuck it" and spend the money on the first thing they see.
Wednesday Night at the Musician - Nice Peter
Here's something I didn't try before. Going to a small gig alone. I tried... semi-hard to find somebody to come along. I kind of didn't want anyone along, thinking most people I knew wouldn't appreciate the guy I was going to see. I'm still right about this, but still wish i'd tried harder not to go alone.
EDIT: I didn't explain this nearly well enough. Many of my friends are outwardly musical snobs. They'll masquerade as most do under the banner of broad taste, but they'll be very quick to judge something they haven't given much time to. I get the feeling they'd brand last nights leading act guitar comedy, when in fact it's it's a lot more than that.
All support was good. The main support was technically brilliant but not quite gripping me towards the end. Nice Peter (www.nicepeter.com) was awesome. Brief emails and hearing him on a podcast didn't quite prepare me for just how self confident this guy is - a great thing, but suddenly making the dude harder to talk to. I managed to utter "dude, fantastic", shaking his hand as I left at the end after having earlier suffered embarrassing stagefright alongside him in a confined toilet saying nothing to the guy before his set. Pathetic, but true. Better than not showing any appreciation, but can't help feeling I was maybe one of only 2-3 people there who knew his material, and i'd have liked to actually explained why I liked it.
Meanwhile he breaks his set halfway through and takes the majority of the small audience (don't book a gig on the night of the Champions League final) out for a smoke, and has a great time either way. This guy deserves to be a lot better known than he is. Some artists own the stage. Nice Peter owns the stage, the room, the audience and the smoking area outside (the UK and his home town Chicago share this fairly recent restriction).
Pete - if you ever see this... dude, fantastic.
EDIT: I didn't explain this nearly well enough. Many of my friends are outwardly musical snobs. They'll masquerade as most do under the banner of broad taste, but they'll be very quick to judge something they haven't given much time to. I get the feeling they'd brand last nights leading act guitar comedy, when in fact it's it's a lot more than that.
All support was good. The main support was technically brilliant but not quite gripping me towards the end. Nice Peter (www.nicepeter.com) was awesome. Brief emails and hearing him on a podcast didn't quite prepare me for just how self confident this guy is - a great thing, but suddenly making the dude harder to talk to. I managed to utter "dude, fantastic", shaking his hand as I left at the end after having earlier suffered embarrassing stagefright alongside him in a confined toilet saying nothing to the guy before his set. Pathetic, but true. Better than not showing any appreciation, but can't help feeling I was maybe one of only 2-3 people there who knew his material, and i'd have liked to actually explained why I liked it.
Meanwhile he breaks his set halfway through and takes the majority of the small audience (don't book a gig on the night of the Champions League final) out for a smoke, and has a great time either way. This guy deserves to be a lot better known than he is. Some artists own the stage. Nice Peter owns the stage, the room, the audience and the smoking area outside (the UK and his home town Chicago share this fairly recent restriction).
Pete - if you ever see this... dude, fantastic.
Monday, May 19, 2008
2008 #21 - Concentration
Since youth, concentration has been slipping. Surroundings don't help. I now sit on a bank of desks with three people who like to talk pretty much throughout the day. The difference is they seem to be able to work at the same time. I cannot. It's not a big problem. My main job can be carried out with relative ease. In most cases either I can do something well or not at all because I don't have the tools, but the concentration lacking slows things down. I'm not ploughing through requests at a decent rate at the moment. Then again, there aren't that many and the level of non-commitment to what's next for us is getting real old. Did I mention i'm sick of this job? I think I did.
It really is stuff like this that causes this feeling too. It's not the work itself. For some reason as soon as somebody reaches management they immediately start to disregard just these types of issue. A survey completed by 100% of people in our department revealed communication to be the thing we're worst at. The same survey said the same thing last year in what was essentially the same department.
The only thing worse than the communication is the ability of management to take any real action to improve it. LIKE ensuring cascades actually happen, LIKE realising that everybody knows the rumours, and there might be no benefit to not just confirming it now. Let's be honest. If you're not telling us, it's probably because you don't really want to. KiP, right?
It may not be that simple in our case. There may be nothing to say. I have suspected for a few months now that the entire line of management above me has no real plan for our team of 7 beyond the rest of this year.
Yeah I know waah waahh I work for a big company that's just like every other big company. Spreadsheets, restructures and lack of shareholder value. At least our unique market position means the share price is fairly independent of how people perform. That said, the fact that this is realised is also probably what leads to the actions that cause this type of discontent. Why do things differently when everything appears to be working out. Impressive earnings were reported last week. Wonder if there's a bonus for that. Probably not a big one. I work in the part of the business that does least well and makes much less money.
Quick update on the points:
1. I suck with this food thing. I have snacked at work two of the last two work days. Since removing the salad, the Tuna tastes better, but it doesn't feel like a meal. Thought required. On a related topic, 3.3 breasts of chicken cost me over £6 at ASDA late on Sunday. I really hope this was just leftover non-value brand and not the new normal price because otherwise that has doubled over the last year. At least i'm getting more meals from the same amount of purchased food now.
2. Poker time minimal at the moment. I fancy a real game. The Facebook game is getting duller. I'm hovering around broke again. It's only fun when you have some chips. Very much keeping to the rule. Some days not even bothering.
3. My Camera went with me on Saturday night. Took a few nice pics and a ridiculous 3 minute video in which I tried to force my friends to give their opinions on recent natural disasters. Why? No idea. Did it achieve anything? Not really. Still, the camera finally got used again, which is good. Also marvelled at sliding it's SD card into the slot on the new laptop that i'd forgotten about. Very handy. USB cables hardly necessary for that kind of thing anymore. The TV I will almost certainly buy also has a slot.
4. Saw my London friends at the weekend, as mentioned above. Good times. Missed the opportunity to see a few others the same night, and have a feeling I missed something major. Will go fishing for that later. I'm not above talking about people i'm afraid.
Hard Part
1. Getting dangerously close to not having a song for May. I find myself wanting to work harder on the songs I have already put together rather than forcing myself to come up with a new idea for the sake of it. I may actually succumb to this, because I can't see any reason not to. As far as the music goes, whatever means the most to me is probably the best thing to do. I'm not committing to this change yet though. Check back next week. Maybe i'll hit on an idea.
2. As discussed, no goals at work for the moment. Another contributing factor to everything I talk about above.
3. Not having much in the way of ideas at the moment. Part of the problem might be realising I seem to very much in the swim category financially now. There is very clearly a storm coming, or already atop us, and it's hard to see how quickly it will begin to lift. I'm in a very good position to weather this storm right now. Cheap rent, slightly above average salary (for age) and no dependants. I am of course reliant on about 30 litres of diesel fuel a week, which is pretty much spearheading the current price rocket. That's a tough one. There will be a point where work will have to understand the sheer cost of travelling to work is unacceptable when there are acceptable alternatives. I hope.
4. Not a bad week of exercise. A little less cycling due to a few days of less favourable weather, but all in all I believe I have swam, in what was my finest non-stop 1 mile swim to date, I have cycled on at least two occasions, but I think it was three, all reasonable distances, and I have this evening capped it off with a little weight work. I'm sure i'm lifting too much weight. It seems very hard compared to how it used to feel. Somebody suggested perhaps the sandstone in the weights took on water whilst it was in storage. That seems feasible. Next week I might cut them down a bit. Must also remember not to do weights and swimming on consecutive days as a rule.
Failed again to keep this short.
Bullet time:
- My boiler might be breaking.
- I think i'm gonna get a 1080p TV. The popular Panasonic 37" LCD model with 80 in the model number. That will of course mean getting the more expensive bench to hold it.
- I bought loads of house plants. Well... 3. This room looks infinitely better now.
- My laptop makes noises that I don't like the sounds of at completely random intervals. I want to think it's fan related but it sounds like it's from the drive. I wish I had some idea what it was. Best described as a spring loaded plastic release sound. Hopefully it's nothing. That aside this laptop is still the best thing in my home. Except me of course. It can even watch the place when i'm not there and email me if anything moves. Would love to understand how that's useful.
EDIT: Just realised what it sounds like. Remember the sound a floppy drive would make as it drew back the metal/plastic guard in order to read the disc. Sounds very much like that. Ideas?
It really is stuff like this that causes this feeling too. It's not the work itself. For some reason as soon as somebody reaches management they immediately start to disregard just these types of issue. A survey completed by 100% of people in our department revealed communication to be the thing we're worst at. The same survey said the same thing last year in what was essentially the same department.
The only thing worse than the communication is the ability of management to take any real action to improve it. LIKE ensuring cascades actually happen, LIKE realising that everybody knows the rumours, and there might be no benefit to not just confirming it now. Let's be honest. If you're not telling us, it's probably because you don't really want to. KiP, right?
It may not be that simple in our case. There may be nothing to say. I have suspected for a few months now that the entire line of management above me has no real plan for our team of 7 beyond the rest of this year.
Yeah I know waah waahh I work for a big company that's just like every other big company. Spreadsheets, restructures and lack of shareholder value. At least our unique market position means the share price is fairly independent of how people perform. That said, the fact that this is realised is also probably what leads to the actions that cause this type of discontent. Why do things differently when everything appears to be working out. Impressive earnings were reported last week. Wonder if there's a bonus for that. Probably not a big one. I work in the part of the business that does least well and makes much less money.
Quick update on the points:
1. I suck with this food thing. I have snacked at work two of the last two work days. Since removing the salad, the Tuna tastes better, but it doesn't feel like a meal. Thought required. On a related topic, 3.3 breasts of chicken cost me over £6 at ASDA late on Sunday. I really hope this was just leftover non-value brand and not the new normal price because otherwise that has doubled over the last year. At least i'm getting more meals from the same amount of purchased food now.
2. Poker time minimal at the moment. I fancy a real game. The Facebook game is getting duller. I'm hovering around broke again. It's only fun when you have some chips. Very much keeping to the rule. Some days not even bothering.
3. My Camera went with me on Saturday night. Took a few nice pics and a ridiculous 3 minute video in which I tried to force my friends to give their opinions on recent natural disasters. Why? No idea. Did it achieve anything? Not really. Still, the camera finally got used again, which is good. Also marvelled at sliding it's SD card into the slot on the new laptop that i'd forgotten about. Very handy. USB cables hardly necessary for that kind of thing anymore. The TV I will almost certainly buy also has a slot.
4. Saw my London friends at the weekend, as mentioned above. Good times. Missed the opportunity to see a few others the same night, and have a feeling I missed something major. Will go fishing for that later. I'm not above talking about people i'm afraid.
Hard Part
1. Getting dangerously close to not having a song for May. I find myself wanting to work harder on the songs I have already put together rather than forcing myself to come up with a new idea for the sake of it. I may actually succumb to this, because I can't see any reason not to. As far as the music goes, whatever means the most to me is probably the best thing to do. I'm not committing to this change yet though. Check back next week. Maybe i'll hit on an idea.
2. As discussed, no goals at work for the moment. Another contributing factor to everything I talk about above.
3. Not having much in the way of ideas at the moment. Part of the problem might be realising I seem to very much in the swim category financially now. There is very clearly a storm coming, or already atop us, and it's hard to see how quickly it will begin to lift. I'm in a very good position to weather this storm right now. Cheap rent, slightly above average salary (for age) and no dependants. I am of course reliant on about 30 litres of diesel fuel a week, which is pretty much spearheading the current price rocket. That's a tough one. There will be a point where work will have to understand the sheer cost of travelling to work is unacceptable when there are acceptable alternatives. I hope.
4. Not a bad week of exercise. A little less cycling due to a few days of less favourable weather, but all in all I believe I have swam, in what was my finest non-stop 1 mile swim to date, I have cycled on at least two occasions, but I think it was three, all reasonable distances, and I have this evening capped it off with a little weight work. I'm sure i'm lifting too much weight. It seems very hard compared to how it used to feel. Somebody suggested perhaps the sandstone in the weights took on water whilst it was in storage. That seems feasible. Next week I might cut them down a bit. Must also remember not to do weights and swimming on consecutive days as a rule.
Failed again to keep this short.
Bullet time:
- My boiler might be breaking.
- I think i'm gonna get a 1080p TV. The popular Panasonic 37" LCD model with 80 in the model number. That will of course mean getting the more expensive bench to hold it.
- I bought loads of house plants. Well... 3. This room looks infinitely better now.
- My laptop makes noises that I don't like the sounds of at completely random intervals. I want to think it's fan related but it sounds like it's from the drive. I wish I had some idea what it was. Best described as a spring loaded plastic release sound. Hopefully it's nothing. That aside this laptop is still the best thing in my home. Except me of course. It can even watch the place when i'm not there and email me if anything moves. Would love to understand how that's useful.
EDIT: Just realised what it sounds like. Remember the sound a floppy drive would make as it drew back the metal/plastic guard in order to read the disc. Sounds very much like that. Ideas?
Monday, May 12, 2008
2008 #20 - Cycling, Unnatural Law and Goals
Really enjoying cycling in the warmer weather. Always have too. Not sure why eventually I stop. Tire of the same old routes? Not letting that happen at the moment. Exploring Leicester. Great thing about Leicester is it's practically impossible to get lost. If you keep going for long enough, you will hit a familiar main road.
Tonight I did start down a single carriageway section of the A563 that suddenly became a busy stretch of dual carriageway with absolutely no way off. Two police cars rolled past, and for a moment I wondered if I was breaking any laws. Then I remembered that I really don't believe in those types of law. Why do I need to remind myself of that?
Either way, common sense would dictate probably don't cycle on that type of road too often. I've seen and been in cars that use that stretch (you know, the one that goes past the Meridian business and leisure parks) as a racing straight. Natural law says if a car side swipes you at over 100mph you'll probably die.
What happened this week?
1. The food thing continues to go reasonably well. I did eat a few snacks. This is the dumb part of me that thinks i'm doing so well I can have a treat, which of course negates how well it's going. The portion thing is going very well. I now realise that crap about only knowing you're full 20 minutes after eating is at least partially true. That doesn't mean you don't feel hunger later because you ate less than you're used to, but therein lies the real challenge. Must keep machine snacks in check. I've killed the salad portion of lunch now. I'm sick to death of ASDA's ridiculously inconsistent bags of salad, and the tuna actually tastes great on it's own. It is a shame to lose a veg portion, but I eat a banana at breakfast, an apple mid morning, a pear at lunch, an apple mid afternoon and have a veg portion with the evening meal, so I seem to be hitting the all important 5 a day target that someone else set for everyone anyway.
2. I have not even managed to fit in a game of Poker tonight due to cycling. Must remember to log in and collect free chips before bed. Rule remains, and adhered to.
3. Another failure. I went out with work people at the weekend and absolutely intended to take my camera. As it turns out it wasn't really that kind of night anyway, though enjoyable. I remain less and less convinced that this was ever a sensible goal, but until I'm ready to kill it, I continue to fail it.
4. Also out locally with friends this week. All great early on but seemed to get weirdly tense later. I think I'm about at that inevitable age where the enjoyment of going to clubs wanes. I've never been good at hearing voices over music, and consequently if I'm not enjoying the general vibe of the night I get bored very easily because I can't talk to anyone. It just seems stupid when I was having a great time with the same people two streets away half an hour ago.
Harder Stuff
1. Still thinking about what to record in May. Played with a few ideas on Sunday. I'm not coming up with much at the moment. As my skill level has increased, as slightly as that may be, I'm less impressed playing the really basic bar(re) chord stuff I used to stick to, but a move to open chords and capos has led me to a slight stagnation. Put a capo on, play an open D shape, hammer on the pinky, move to the A shape, hammer on again, move to G shape. Time I think to start properly learning the other chords rather than just discovering them accidentally.
2. I officially have no work goals as of my review last Tuesday, which went reasonably well, although I did at one point freeze up when trying to recall a policy from memory. I don't like that these reviews have started to become exam-like. To me being able to talk around the literature of a policy in an intelligent manner proves far more than parroting it's bullet points. Anyways, this goal takes a break until I find out if I have achieved the competency level I wanted to. If so...
3. ...I'll need to do some more towards this goal. I said that core competency in my current role was as far as I wanted to go in the company I work for some time back. By now I had hoped that i'd be a bit closer to some ideas about what i'd do after that, but as anybody reading this will know, this hasn't happened. Needless to say, I continue to be thinking.
4. Exercise. I have cycled four times this week, lifted once and swam once. The pool was chopped in two again but I hogged a wall this time. This is a great idea. Nobody can avoid you on one side, and the only way you can possibly avoid them is to swim right across and round them, which would just be silly, right? Exactly. So what happens? They have to get out of the way. Widths still suck, but it was a lot better than the previous week. The astute will notice that the extra cycling has pitched me way above the goal this week. I'm not going to change the goal, but I'd like to keep this up. There are certainly times when cycling that I feel I absolutely must be getting great exercise.
Okay this is going to go on a bit now.. Specific goal stuff over for this week.
A bit of clarity hit me this weekend. I've been whining about seemingly having a lower level of confidence now than I did 4-5 years ago, when I feel I was happier. I've realised that the confidence came from achievement at work. Between mid 2002 and late 2005 I was constantly moving forward. I actually hit a lull in late 2004 and remember desperately trying to find a new job, but then in April 2005 I took an opportunity to start commuting to another location, which led by application to the job at the level I still remain at (although doing different work). By the company's own HR literature, I am about where I should be three years later, if not slightly ahead, but the somewhat fast track from low level admin to team leadership perhaps set unrealistic expectations. By those expectations I'd be at the next level now (the watershed £30k job)
The problem with the above is that I keep saying I don't much care about my job and that I want to follow a different path, but if it's so clear that I gained my self-confidence through advancement at work, and began to lose it again through failing to advance further, then maybe I'm not placing enough importance on work in amongst all this chatter.
At some point I got re-interested in technology and convinced myself that I wanted to be involved with it, but whenever I try to get back to coding, I get bored very quickly. More so than I do when coding VBA at work (which I still hate using as a self-selling point because it sounds like I write macros, and what I do is orders of magnitude lot better than this).
Somewhere I lost sight of my strengths, or rather allowed myself to believe that my strengths lacked significance because plenty of other people had them.
At uni I could tell for a good while that I had top 10% potential, and also knew plenty of people that I suspected may fail. At some point my priorities changed for reasons that today seem completely pointless, and although I took a good final run after I got past the pointlessness, I never got back to where I should have been. Most of the aforementioned people ended up passing with the same mediocre honours as I did. The Maths of a CS degree was a problem for me, but I know not all that deep down that I was 1st class material. I'm the idiot that worked hard in the first year and then less so later. Did it backwards.
I'm definitely rambling here, and these dots don't necessarily connect. What I'm doing here is exploring motivation. In uni my motivation changed and changed back. I was able to work hard again. At work my motivation changed and changed back. I was able to work hard again. Then it changed again, but since then, it hasn't changed back. I feel little incentive to work hard, but the only time I ever enjoy work would be when the day flies past because I'm working hard. I have plenty to do, but it's all so mediocre and similar to the last piece of work.
What did I learn? I need new motivation. If I think back, writing this blog this year, I can't recall talking about WHY I wanted to do something, just THAT I wanted to something else.
That's the thing to think about now. Apologies for the incoherence beyond the goal review. Helped me a little. This laptop really gets warm.
Tonight I did start down a single carriageway section of the A563 that suddenly became a busy stretch of dual carriageway with absolutely no way off. Two police cars rolled past, and for a moment I wondered if I was breaking any laws. Then I remembered that I really don't believe in those types of law. Why do I need to remind myself of that?
Either way, common sense would dictate probably don't cycle on that type of road too often. I've seen and been in cars that use that stretch (you know, the one that goes past the Meridian business and leisure parks) as a racing straight. Natural law says if a car side swipes you at over 100mph you'll probably die.
What happened this week?
1. The food thing continues to go reasonably well. I did eat a few snacks. This is the dumb part of me that thinks i'm doing so well I can have a treat, which of course negates how well it's going. The portion thing is going very well. I now realise that crap about only knowing you're full 20 minutes after eating is at least partially true. That doesn't mean you don't feel hunger later because you ate less than you're used to, but therein lies the real challenge. Must keep machine snacks in check. I've killed the salad portion of lunch now. I'm sick to death of ASDA's ridiculously inconsistent bags of salad, and the tuna actually tastes great on it's own. It is a shame to lose a veg portion, but I eat a banana at breakfast, an apple mid morning, a pear at lunch, an apple mid afternoon and have a veg portion with the evening meal, so I seem to be hitting the all important 5 a day target that someone else set for everyone anyway.
2. I have not even managed to fit in a game of Poker tonight due to cycling. Must remember to log in and collect free chips before bed. Rule remains, and adhered to.
3. Another failure. I went out with work people at the weekend and absolutely intended to take my camera. As it turns out it wasn't really that kind of night anyway, though enjoyable. I remain less and less convinced that this was ever a sensible goal, but until I'm ready to kill it, I continue to fail it.
4. Also out locally with friends this week. All great early on but seemed to get weirdly tense later. I think I'm about at that inevitable age where the enjoyment of going to clubs wanes. I've never been good at hearing voices over music, and consequently if I'm not enjoying the general vibe of the night I get bored very easily because I can't talk to anyone. It just seems stupid when I was having a great time with the same people two streets away half an hour ago.
Harder Stuff
1. Still thinking about what to record in May. Played with a few ideas on Sunday. I'm not coming up with much at the moment. As my skill level has increased, as slightly as that may be, I'm less impressed playing the really basic bar(re) chord stuff I used to stick to, but a move to open chords and capos has led me to a slight stagnation. Put a capo on, play an open D shape, hammer on the pinky, move to the A shape, hammer on again, move to G shape. Time I think to start properly learning the other chords rather than just discovering them accidentally.
2. I officially have no work goals as of my review last Tuesday, which went reasonably well, although I did at one point freeze up when trying to recall a policy from memory. I don't like that these reviews have started to become exam-like. To me being able to talk around the literature of a policy in an intelligent manner proves far more than parroting it's bullet points. Anyways, this goal takes a break until I find out if I have achieved the competency level I wanted to. If so...
3. ...I'll need to do some more towards this goal. I said that core competency in my current role was as far as I wanted to go in the company I work for some time back. By now I had hoped that i'd be a bit closer to some ideas about what i'd do after that, but as anybody reading this will know, this hasn't happened. Needless to say, I continue to be thinking.
4. Exercise. I have cycled four times this week, lifted once and swam once. The pool was chopped in two again but I hogged a wall this time. This is a great idea. Nobody can avoid you on one side, and the only way you can possibly avoid them is to swim right across and round them, which would just be silly, right? Exactly. So what happens? They have to get out of the way. Widths still suck, but it was a lot better than the previous week. The astute will notice that the extra cycling has pitched me way above the goal this week. I'm not going to change the goal, but I'd like to keep this up. There are certainly times when cycling that I feel I absolutely must be getting great exercise.
Okay this is going to go on a bit now.. Specific goal stuff over for this week.
A bit of clarity hit me this weekend. I've been whining about seemingly having a lower level of confidence now than I did 4-5 years ago, when I feel I was happier. I've realised that the confidence came from achievement at work. Between mid 2002 and late 2005 I was constantly moving forward. I actually hit a lull in late 2004 and remember desperately trying to find a new job, but then in April 2005 I took an opportunity to start commuting to another location, which led by application to the job at the level I still remain at (although doing different work). By the company's own HR literature, I am about where I should be three years later, if not slightly ahead, but the somewhat fast track from low level admin to team leadership perhaps set unrealistic expectations. By those expectations I'd be at the next level now (the watershed £30k job)
The problem with the above is that I keep saying I don't much care about my job and that I want to follow a different path, but if it's so clear that I gained my self-confidence through advancement at work, and began to lose it again through failing to advance further, then maybe I'm not placing enough importance on work in amongst all this chatter.
At some point I got re-interested in technology and convinced myself that I wanted to be involved with it, but whenever I try to get back to coding, I get bored very quickly. More so than I do when coding VBA at work (which I still hate using as a self-selling point because it sounds like I write macros, and what I do is orders of magnitude lot better than this).
Somewhere I lost sight of my strengths, or rather allowed myself to believe that my strengths lacked significance because plenty of other people had them.
At uni I could tell for a good while that I had top 10% potential, and also knew plenty of people that I suspected may fail. At some point my priorities changed for reasons that today seem completely pointless, and although I took a good final run after I got past the pointlessness, I never got back to where I should have been. Most of the aforementioned people ended up passing with the same mediocre honours as I did. The Maths of a CS degree was a problem for me, but I know not all that deep down that I was 1st class material. I'm the idiot that worked hard in the first year and then less so later. Did it backwards.
I'm definitely rambling here, and these dots don't necessarily connect. What I'm doing here is exploring motivation. In uni my motivation changed and changed back. I was able to work hard again. At work my motivation changed and changed back. I was able to work hard again. Then it changed again, but since then, it hasn't changed back. I feel little incentive to work hard, but the only time I ever enjoy work would be when the day flies past because I'm working hard. I have plenty to do, but it's all so mediocre and similar to the last piece of work.
What did I learn? I need new motivation. If I think back, writing this blog this year, I can't recall talking about WHY I wanted to do something, just THAT I wanted to something else.
That's the thing to think about now. Apologies for the incoherence beyond the goal review. Helped me a little. This laptop really gets warm.
Monday, May 05, 2008
2008 #19 - Transformation at Home and Work
As I think I mentioned, Im transforming my home into somewhere I enjoy spending time more. Perhaps even somewhere other people won't dislike visiting. Nobody has ever said they felt this way, but certainly until this week it wasn't very welcoming. Too baron.
At work i'm part of Transformation, with a capital T. That's what it's called. My job doesn't actually have anything to do with it, it's just the name of the programme my team has been sitting under for a while. Under this programme we get to watch as they restructure the whole thing every couple of months at various levels. Tomorrow they will tell us how they're going to restructure the "workstream" I sit under. My expectation is that the manager 3 levels above me will announce he's moving to head up another workstream, and that the team of 6 I sit in will be looking to lose 2 people. I have some level of confidence that I'd be one of the last 2-3 people standing in a face off (much as I like and respect my immediate colleagues - all five), and nobody in a company this size is ever made redundant in the traditional sense of the word, so I'm not worried. I mainly mention it because I'm looking forward to the meeting. For some reason I like watching those on the corporate borderline shifting things around what seems like far too often, but that's if it's taken at face value, which it certainly shouldn't be. There's always a real reason, and it's always money, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's weirdly interesting to watch.
Why mention that? Just that I'm not dreading going back to work tomorrow. I even have my annual review, and my evidence is pretty much ready!
Easy
1. I did buy a machine snack once last week. There was a sort of excuse but it was weak. Will try harder this week. Portion curbing is going really well. I have at least 2 extra meals worth of food each week, and my weight which was worrying me has fallen back in just a few weeks. I'm almost ready to make a weight related goal, but I wonder if I have a minimum threshold at this point, as I haven't dropped much below 12 stone in the last 3-4 years whether in exercise mode or not, and 12 stone isn't actually overweight for my height.
3. I did go somewhere I hadn't been before on Saturday night, but only one person I actually knew was present. I'm not pointing my camera at strangers.
4. Good weekend, plus made some plans to see older friends in a few weeks. Have noticed that my fear of rejection (waa waa waa) is so bad that it prevents me from asking friends to do something because I assume I'm going to be told they have something better to do. This is pretty bad and no question I just need to get over it and do it anyway. Goals and self-therapy!
Challenging
1. Ideas forming for a May song. Plenty of time.
2. Review tomorrow. Pretty much consumed the days I was in work last week.
3. Still not thinking so much about it. Definitely happier. Beginning to think the general population may have a point. The cycle is becoming clearer - happy enough at work, happy denial, wanna better job, wannabe entrepreneur, coastal campervan then back around. If I'm lucky I'll hit coastal campervan around July time so I'm in the right mood for a trip to the coast.
4. Fanfare! Finally did it. Tuesday I swam, Friday I lifted and today I cycled. The swim sucked because a short staffed Braunstone Leisure Centre decided they had to halve the pool, meaning no lanes and swimming widths. They then proceed to open both sides of the divide, meaning the staff cover exactly the same amount of water had they just opened it up as normal. Nuts. Here's hoping it was a one time thing. My weight lifting stamina is also far lower than it used to be. I'm not even lasting long enough to get bored two sessions in. I feel sure this will improve though, so I'm not worried.
At work i'm part of Transformation, with a capital T. That's what it's called. My job doesn't actually have anything to do with it, it's just the name of the programme my team has been sitting under for a while. Under this programme we get to watch as they restructure the whole thing every couple of months at various levels. Tomorrow they will tell us how they're going to restructure the "workstream" I sit under. My expectation is that the manager 3 levels above me will announce he's moving to head up another workstream, and that the team of 6 I sit in will be looking to lose 2 people. I have some level of confidence that I'd be one of the last 2-3 people standing in a face off (much as I like and respect my immediate colleagues - all five), and nobody in a company this size is ever made redundant in the traditional sense of the word, so I'm not worried. I mainly mention it because I'm looking forward to the meeting. For some reason I like watching those on the corporate borderline shifting things around what seems like far too often, but that's if it's taken at face value, which it certainly shouldn't be. There's always a real reason, and it's always money, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's weirdly interesting to watch.
Why mention that? Just that I'm not dreading going back to work tomorrow. I even have my annual review, and my evidence is pretty much ready!
Easy
1. I did buy a machine snack once last week. There was a sort of excuse but it was weak. Will try harder this week. Portion curbing is going really well. I have at least 2 extra meals worth of food each week, and my weight which was worrying me has fallen back in just a few weeks. I'm almost ready to make a weight related goal, but I wonder if I have a minimum threshold at this point, as I haven't dropped much below 12 stone in the last 3-4 years whether in exercise mode or not, and 12 stone isn't actually overweight for my height.
3. I did go somewhere I hadn't been before on Saturday night, but only one person I actually knew was present. I'm not pointing my camera at strangers.
4. Good weekend, plus made some plans to see older friends in a few weeks. Have noticed that my fear of rejection (waa waa waa) is so bad that it prevents me from asking friends to do something because I assume I'm going to be told they have something better to do. This is pretty bad and no question I just need to get over it and do it anyway. Goals and self-therapy!
Challenging
1. Ideas forming for a May song. Plenty of time.
2. Review tomorrow. Pretty much consumed the days I was in work last week.
3. Still not thinking so much about it. Definitely happier. Beginning to think the general population may have a point. The cycle is becoming clearer - happy enough at work, happy denial, wanna better job, wannabe entrepreneur, coastal campervan then back around. If I'm lucky I'll hit coastal campervan around July time so I'm in the right mood for a trip to the coast.
4. Fanfare! Finally did it. Tuesday I swam, Friday I lifted and today I cycled. The swim sucked because a short staffed Braunstone Leisure Centre decided they had to halve the pool, meaning no lanes and swimming widths. They then proceed to open both sides of the divide, meaning the staff cover exactly the same amount of water had they just opened it up as normal. Nuts. Here's hoping it was a one time thing. My weight lifting stamina is also far lower than it used to be. I'm not even lasting long enough to get bored two sessions in. I feel sure this will improve though, so I'm not worried.
Home Entertainment
It feels so much better sitting doing this in the living room. It feels so much better not to be spending my relaxation time in my bedroom.
This has of course been enabled by my new laptop, which as I think I mentioned, is wonderful. Naturally now I'm in impulse splurge mode.
(This was going to be my 2008 #19 post but some way through it became clear that to combine the two would lead to a ridiculously long post, and personal goals and home entertainment really don't fit well together)
Now I have a laptop with an HDMI output, I need a TV with an HDMI input to use it to watch digital video directly. I need a better sound solution for the living room also. It's where I listen to music now! To tie this together, there is a TV unit for a reasonable price that matches my new black glass coffee table. I can't use that with my current TV though. Too heavy. Needs to be a panel. Can't be any bigger than 32", otherwise will need to spend over 3 times as much on what I can only assume is a stronger unit.
Now, a 32" TV in 2008 is the same height as a 24" screen from yesteryear, which is what I have now, so for wide programming i'd be trading way up, but for standard programming i'd be looking at a picture of about the same size. Don't even get me started on the fact that the majority of the population sets their TV to stretch everything. I don't even feel this should be an option.
Suddenly though 37" has become the new standard. Just a few months ago 42" was what the big boys got, and the average home user bought 32". In Currys this afternoon I counted approx 8-10 32" models. There must have been 40 or so 37" models. 42" also seems to have vanished in favour of slightly smaller 40" and much larger 50". Strange how quickly this has all changed.
Complicated enough, but i'm also grappling with the 1080p issue. It's very clear that 1080p is being given a big sales push. It was hard to find 720p/1080i models in Currys, and yet most of what I read says that right now 1080p really isn't worth much. I'm mainly drawn to it because it's the same resolution as my new laptop, and it would be pretty cool to be able to perfectly project. I'm a few years from wanting a Blu-ray player though, I don't have any real intention of getting Sky HD (it'll be the standard package eventually, no question) and any DivX|XviD stuff i've seen seems to be 720 lines deep.
So, I have this narrowed down to a few options:
1) Lowest cost - Buy a 720p 32" TV and the £50 unit. Definitely cost effective.
2) Next lowest - Buy a 1080p 32" TV and the £50 unit. All signs point to 1080p being a waste on time on a screen this small.
3) Next lowest - Buy a 720p 37" TV and the £130 unit.
4) Next lowest - Buy a 1080p 37" TV, the £130 unit.
We're looking at a minimum of about £500 for option 1 and a minimum of about £900 for option 4. Can I afford either? Technically yes, but I did just spend £800 on a laptop. That said I do absolutely run everything I own into the ground before replacing it.
I won't decide now, but I wanted to get this down on paper... well, screen. The sound element will have to wait. Adding that in would be too complicated.
Right, now I'll write about the week.
This has of course been enabled by my new laptop, which as I think I mentioned, is wonderful. Naturally now I'm in impulse splurge mode.
(This was going to be my 2008 #19 post but some way through it became clear that to combine the two would lead to a ridiculously long post, and personal goals and home entertainment really don't fit well together)
Now I have a laptop with an HDMI output, I need a TV with an HDMI input to use it to watch digital video directly. I need a better sound solution for the living room also. It's where I listen to music now! To tie this together, there is a TV unit for a reasonable price that matches my new black glass coffee table. I can't use that with my current TV though. Too heavy. Needs to be a panel. Can't be any bigger than 32", otherwise will need to spend over 3 times as much on what I can only assume is a stronger unit.
Now, a 32" TV in 2008 is the same height as a 24" screen from yesteryear, which is what I have now, so for wide programming i'd be trading way up, but for standard programming i'd be looking at a picture of about the same size. Don't even get me started on the fact that the majority of the population sets their TV to stretch everything. I don't even feel this should be an option.
Suddenly though 37" has become the new standard. Just a few months ago 42" was what the big boys got, and the average home user bought 32". In Currys this afternoon I counted approx 8-10 32" models. There must have been 40 or so 37" models. 42" also seems to have vanished in favour of slightly smaller 40" and much larger 50". Strange how quickly this has all changed.
Complicated enough, but i'm also grappling with the 1080p issue. It's very clear that 1080p is being given a big sales push. It was hard to find 720p/1080i models in Currys, and yet most of what I read says that right now 1080p really isn't worth much. I'm mainly drawn to it because it's the same resolution as my new laptop, and it would be pretty cool to be able to perfectly project. I'm a few years from wanting a Blu-ray player though, I don't have any real intention of getting Sky HD (it'll be the standard package eventually, no question) and any DivX|XviD stuff i've seen seems to be 720 lines deep.
So, I have this narrowed down to a few options:
1) Lowest cost - Buy a 720p 32" TV and the £50 unit. Definitely cost effective.
2) Next lowest - Buy a 1080p 32" TV and the £50 unit. All signs point to 1080p being a waste on time on a screen this small.
3) Next lowest - Buy a 720p 37" TV and the £130 unit.
4) Next lowest - Buy a 1080p 37" TV, the £130 unit.
We're looking at a minimum of about £500 for option 1 and a minimum of about £900 for option 4. Can I afford either? Technically yes, but I did just spend £800 on a laptop. That said I do absolutely run everything I own into the ground before replacing it.
I won't decide now, but I wanted to get this down on paper... well, screen. The sound element will have to wait. Adding that in would be too complicated.
Right, now I'll write about the week.
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